Black Friday

This morning I arose at the early (even for me) hour of 4:30 and headed off into the night to get a bargain on a Christmas gift.

Normally I shun this ritual - only once before have I partaken, and that was only to see what all the hubbub was about. I was completely unimpressed and have not ventured out again.

But this was a really good deal, and my husband said, "You'll do it, right?" So there I was at Walmart standing in a line with a MILLION other people. When I pulled into the parking lot, my stomach began churning when I saw that it was completely full. As I walked in to the store, I learned that some people had been there since midnight. Apparently my noble effort of arising at 4:30 am was child's play compared to these hard core shoppers.

At 5am, they began distributing the item I desired and at 5:04, I was faced with the ugly reality that I was the very first person NOT to get this item as they were all gone (supplies limited, you know?).

I stared in disbelief for a moment and then returned to my car. The radio announcer suggested some online shopping rather than facing the Black Friday crowds.

What a stellar idea.

On Salad...and other things

"Mom, you haven't posted since Halloween," said my daughter Kellie. "Yes, I did - I posted this month, see?" "But it was about Halloween, and now it's Thanksgiving, you need to post." "Okay, I'll do it." But it's hard to write a post when you don't know what to write about. Yesterday, it hit me. Post about salad. Yes, salad.

You see, I had a salad yesterday for lunch. A salad I made myself with my own hands. And even I was struck by the irony of the moment because for at least half of my life, I hated salad and refused to eat it.

I think it all began when I was a young girl and my job every night for dinner was to make the salad (and grate the cheese, but that is another story). I detested making the salad, number one reason: I knew I wasn't going to eat it. Why should I always have to make the one thing in the meal that I wasn't going to consume? But my mom persisted and the salad I did make.

As I entered my teens, and all my friends were eating salad because it was healthy and helped you be thin, I smugly consumed my powdered, jelly-filled donuts. Did I mention that I really hated salad?

As an adult, I flirted off and on with the salad consumption. All my friends would talk about this or that delicious salad they had made or bought at Wendy's and I thought, "Maybe this will be the salad I will like," so I'd try it. Inevitably, I would be disappointed. Salad just does not taste like donuts. But I was also having babies and worrying more about my health and I knew I needed to improve my veggie intake, so I'd force some bites down and pat myself on the back for the effort.

Oh, there are some "salads" I enjoy, but can you really call the salad at Cafe Rio a salad? Come on - it's mostly tortilla, rice, beans, meat, & cheese with a big hunk of lettuce stacked on top. I don't think that counts - but it is tasty and I have used it as a salad when necessary to appease my conscience.

This fall, I got serious about the lose weight/be healthy thing and went on the HCG diet. One of the great things (besides the weight loss) is that it cleanses the palette. This is a fancy way of saying that I was completely sugar overloaded and so natural food just didn't taste good to me. After two months of no sugar, I was pleased to find that fruits really were sweet...and yummy. And I also learned that I felt a lot better if I ate some veggies every day; hence, the salad for lunch. I still have to force myself to eat it (and a little cheese and egg on it help a lot), but I'm actually choosing on my own to make and eat salad.

And that is my post about salad...and other things.

If you want to know about the HCG diet, I highly recommend my dietician sister-in-law Becky who helped my hubby and me lose a total of 45 lbs. in two months. We look and feel fabulous! And we eat salad.

You go, girl

Right in the middle of cleaning my house today, I was suddenly struck with a longing for my Katie. She's only been off to school for a few hours, but I missed her.

She is my baby, but not really, because being the youngest, she is constantly striving to catch up to where the others are at. Only occasionally will she climb into my arms and let me snuggle her.

Katie is full of little "Katie-isms" that keep my chuckling. I do love to laugh, especially with my kids. Yesterday, we went to the dollar store to get a gift for a party and Katie used her tooth fairy money to buy a small tub of Noisy Putty. When we got in the car, she gave it a good squeeze and it let out a sound just like a fart. She laughed her head off.

In church, she was mad at Jenna for something and they were writing back and forth to each other about it. Jenna made a point which Katie had to concede to and she wrote "well (sigh)"...yes, she wrote the sigh in.

For Halloween, she wanted to be something scary. Originally, it was a vampire witch. I was hoping for a fairy. Then she moved to a chocolate chip cookie. Couldn't figure that one out. We settled on Astrid from How To Train Your Dragon, which ended up being perfect. She is spunky and sassy and gets to be tough and girlie at the same time. Her favorite parts of her costume: the double-bladed axe and the headband.

That's my girl.

Letters

Today I wrote about the last week of my mom's life.

I had lived through it, and talked about it with people, but I hadn't written it down and something kept telling me, "Write it down or you'll forget something." So I did. I typed for four pages--single space--and I cried some. But it was done. Then I printed it out and I folded it up and put it in an envelope.

I told my dad that I did this.

"What are you going to do with it?" he asked.

"I put it in my 'Mom's funeral bag'," I replied. That is a bag I received with some goodies in it from a friend and I put all the cards and notes and letters I got from people about my mom in it and then I put in the pictures that I printed out from the funeral, and now it holds the story of the last week.

Oh, and a letter I wrote to Stephenie Meyer, the author of the Twilight books. You see, she helped my mom, too, only she didn't know it and I thought she should.

So I wrote to her, too, and printed a copy to mail and a copy for me. To put in the bag.

So I will always remember.

Spirit of Elijah

I have been bit by the geneaology bug...bad.

It got me for the first time last summer. I spent weeks and weeks sorting through info from my grandmas and organizing it in my new computer program and then I joined ancestry.com and found two different family lines previously unknown that went back 4 generations. It was incredible.

Then, it was time for school to start and I had to set it all aside.

These past weeks, the symptoms hit again and I have been at it with vengeance. I even looked into getting a second bachelor's degree in Family History. Can you believe BYU won't let you get two bachelor's degrees? Bummer.

I have always suspected I'd be a family history junkie. I love to organize and put things in their proper order; and I LOVE my family. But it was never the right season of life, you know? I was having babies and working full-time and I just couldn't give it what it needed. But I thought it might be something I could get into. I was right. I cannot get enough.

This past week I am sorting through the Bass and Hogg families. I can still hear my Nana's voice talking to me about them and telling me she just couldn't get them straightened out and that I would have to do it.

Nana, I am happy to do so.

Passing

My mom passed away last week.

Often, it seems surreal. Could this have happened to me? to my family? to my mom?

My mind keeps fixing on certain moments: her hand clasping mine so tightly in the ER just days before she died. Her last breaths when all I could do was kneel by her side and sob and say "Mom" over and over. How she looked reclining in the front seat of my car while we looked at the fall leaves in Provo Canyon and felt the cool breeze.

People ask me how it was. Hard.

People ask me how I am. OK.

The law of opposition is so at work here. It is good that she is no longer suffering. It is sad that we can't see her anymore. I am glad to be home and caring for my children. I worry about my dad and wish I was there to help him.

Last night, we read the letters my mom had written to each of us. They were all so personal and so filled with love. I told my kids, "I know that Grandma still lives, because this much love doesn't just go away."

A New Life

I hardly recognize the life we have lived the last two weeks...it is so different from the past 7 years.

For the girls, it is three different schools and three different schedules. The biggest challenge so far: the sheer size. All of them have said, "There are so many people!" Jenna had us rolling at the dinner table as she described trying to navigate in the halls between classes where you "turn to the right and your backpack knocks into someone else's backpack which hits someone else's backpack. Your best move is to put your friend in front of you and just push them through the crowds."

Kellie likes her ballroom and yearbook classes, LOVES the cafeteria (but not the long lines), and is not too fond of her science teacher. She also almost missed the bus today, prompting her to decide to get up 30 minutes earlier than usual.

Alissa has been quickly making friends and has decided to play the cello. Today after school, she came walking out with a friend and as they parted, they gave each other a quick hug. Ahhh....I think she's doing well.

Katie has become the queen of the tetherball, along with Sonny, the king of tetherball. According to Katie, "We beat everybody!"

And me? I get up at 6:45 and spend the next hour and a half helping girls get ready for school and driving them down the hill. Then I go running. Then it's some housework and errands--my house hasn't been this consistently clean since we moved in. Today I helped Josh pack up his stuff to go to college. (sniffle) Starting at 1:30, I pick up girls from school and transport them home and to various activities and then it's dinner and homework. It is so different.

David and I have been encouraging the girls to make new friends. Alissa and Katie have had an easier time with it than the older girls. Today, Jenna said, "Mom, you're going to be proud of me in the friend department."

"Tell me," I said.

"In my mixed choir class, most of the people transferred in with a friend who they sit by. All of us who didn't just sit alone. Today I was sitting alone and saw someone else sitting alone and I got up and went over and sat by her and introduced myself."

"Jenna, I'm so proud of you!"

"Wait, it gets better. Right after I did that, a guy who had been sitting by himself got up and went and sat by another guy who was alone. I set a good example!"

I think we're going to be okay.

(In the picture, Jenna is running in her first cross country meet at her new school.)