The List

Last night at my birthday dinner, we created a list of things our girls should keep in mind when looking for a potential mate.  It started because we were discussing how people in love lose all sense of reason and do crazy things.   It got a little humorous, but there's some good stuff in there, too.  It is titled....


Qualities In A Guy:  For When We Fall In Love and Lose Our Minds

Honest
Tall
Funny
Handsome
In college working for a degree
Athletic
Someone to talk to for hours
NON-gamer (as in video games)
Return Missionary!!!!
Has a job
Worthy priesthood holder
Supports you in college goals
Football!!!  Non-Utah fan - it's gotta be BYU
Knows how to work hard and make goals (finisher)
Negative blood type  (to avoid those nasty RhoGAM shots when you're pregnant)
Gentleman
Active
Loves his Momma
Baller (as in basketball)
Supportive
Drives a car (not sure where that came from)
Respects your opinion and as a woman
Loves kids
Chef
Willingly serves in callings
Bitter ender (hangs in there when times get tough)
Not prideful
Wants to get married in temple
Respects and likes your parents
Appreciates your wit
Smart
Someone who treats me like my parents treat each other
Not a loser

Here's hoping they keep at least a few of these in mind when the love bug strikes. :)

Women and Politics

Since the election on Tuesday, I have been puzzling over a statistic that I heard:  the majority of women voted for President Obama.  This surprised me and I've been pondering and coming up with my own theories on the why, but was hesitant to put them out there because some of them were not very complimentary to women.

While watching the news last night, a panel discussed this very question and came to the same conclusions that I had.  First, the numbers:  among women voters, 54% voted for Obama v. 46% for Romney.  But when broken down to single and married women, a majority of singles -  63% - voted for Obama while a  majority of married women (55%) voted for Romney.  Now to the "why".  

Obama speaks to the need of a single woman to be cared for.  Married women have a spouse looking out for them, but a single woman is on her own, yet still has that innate desire to be watched over and Obama's plans, particularly that on providing healthcare and financial assistance, fill that need.  Secondly, on social issues, particularly abortion, single women want to know that they can get that abortion when they need one.  One panelist expressed that married women tend not to be thinking about abortion, but for a single woman, she wants that available to her and wants to know that the government will help her get it (through the new healthcare plan).  

As I listened to my own thoughts confirmed and said aloud, I was greatly saddened about the road my gender is traveling down.  I am deeply supportive of women's rights and the importance of fair treatment for women and girls across the globe.  I truly believe that it is women who can be the most effective leaders in taking countries and communities and families toward a productive and enriching society.  As I see more and more women make the choice to be single, to eschew the roles of wife and mother, I see a narrowing of their opportunities and a limiting of their ability to change and impact the world for good. 

I was also dismayed by the ebbing of moral values shown by the abortion issue.  Historically, women have been the champions of moral standards and conduct, yet clearly, that has deteriorated to the point where a majority of single women would choose a president and political philosophy that ensures they can be sexually active and have a back-up plan if it doesn't go the way they want it to.  It seems that selfishness has become a majority trait.

What can be done?  My thoughts quickly traveled to this conclusion: how much more we need to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ!  No political campaign or ideological debate will have the impact of a heart converted to Christ.  I was immediately grateful for the decision of a prophet of God, Thomas S. Monson, to allow missionaries to serve at a younger age which has resulted in a huge surge of young people going out to spread the message of Christ. My prayers have increased that the people of my country will listen and believe. And I can continue my work on my most important stage:  my home.  I have four daughters who are intelligent, talented, capable, and followers of Christ. They can make a difference.

And so can I.

Men

If you are raising a son, I strongly recommend watching this video by Elder D. Todd Christofferson:

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/brethren-we-have-work-to-do?lang=eng&media=video


Some of the lines that stood out for me:

• Life is not a competition between men and women.
• Adult men need to be worthy models, to teach young men...how to pursue hobbies without becoming addicted.
• We have a perfect Master who wrought a perfect Atonement.
• The church, world, and women are crying for men of God.

Being a More Christian Christian

I listened to this talk today by Elder Robert D. Hales and was especially impacted by his recital of the qualities of those who hear and heed the Savior's voice:  love, faith, sacrifice, caring, service, patience, peace, forgiveness, conversion, endurance to the end.  I want to be better at internalizing and showing these qualities.  And I look at them and think how the world could change for good if more of us followed the Savior.

Being a More Christian Christian

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/being-a-more-christian-christian?lang=eng

They just keep growing...

Josh

Jenna

I wanted to do this age progression to see how my kids have changed from year to year.  Shockingly, I have two children who have run the full cycle from birth to senior year of high school - ahhh!  I designed these in Photoshop and had them printed at Costco.  I love both of those tools!  It was wonderful and a little tearful to see how they've changed from those tiny babies I first held in my arms to the fabulous adults they are today.  Now on the wall in our office so I can travel down memory lane whenever I want.

Auditory Learners

I got a call two weeks ago from the MTC asking if I would be able to take on another missionary.  He had been tutored by one of our sisters, but after one lesson, she didn't know what to do to teach him.  Turns out, this elder has dyslexia and is an auditory learner.  I said, "Oh!  I know what to do for that - my daughter is an auditory learner."  (Did  you know that about Kellie?  She needs to hear books read aloud to her in order to understand them.  I've done a lot of research this last year on it to learn how to help her.)  When I met with the elder, I began by explaining what I knew about auditory learners and told him some of the positive things about that type of learner.  I read aloud to him and had him tell me what he understood - it was very difficult for him.  At one point, he said, "I just want you know, I am not dumb."  I replied, "I know you're not dumb.  You're very intelligent"  and went on to learn that he was a whiz at math, an excellent speaker and an insightful group discussion contributor.  I gave him some techniques to work on, but realized very quickly that he really needed an audio device for his personal study.  You know the rules about that at the MTC, so I followed the chain of command and after a day was able to get permission.  Then it was a matter of finding a player.  Everyone I talked to was positive that there were no iPhones or MP3 players at the MTC, but I kindly said, "I know there are, because I saw my son and his district with them in September."  After another day, we located one and had the scriptures downloaded to it and I was able to present it to this elder.  We studied together with it in Enos:  he had his scriptures open and then also had the Illustrated Book of Mormon open to the section on Enos, and then we would listen to the audio, pausing after a verse or a couple of verses to check comprehension.  What a difference!  It was such a testimony to me of how the Lord provides for His children.  Just before this elder left for the mission field, I spoke with his mission president and was able to get permission for him to use the audio there as well.  

This week, I had another opportunity to be an instrument in this area.  I had a missionary referred to me who came in on Wed who was identified as an auditory learner, just like the one from the week before.  Usually, we don't start tutoring until the following Monday, but I felt strongly when I got his name Thursday evening that I needed to meet with him Friday morning.  So I hauled myself up and to the MTC by 8 am.   This elder is a hardworking farm boy from Rexburg, ID. (He was super tan so I asked him where he'd been to get that tan thinking he'd say Lake Powell or something like that and he said, "I work on a farm.  I'm always outside.")  When he started high school, he knew that he needed a different way to learn, so he searched on his own until he found a computer program that scans in any book and then transfers the page to the screen and reads it aloud to you.  He made sure this program was on every computer at his school and the schools in the area and spent the rest of his high school time promoting its use in schools around the nation.  It changed everything for him - he had been a D student before and he became an A student.  I asked him what he had done in school before he found that program and he said he'd been in special ed classes.  Tragedy!  He was learning less because the schools didn't know how to teach him, not because he wasn't capable of understanding.  I very quickly determined that he needed an audio player at the MTC and went to work getting the necessary approvals.  Since a precedent had already been set because of the work with the other elder, I had an audio player in that elder's hand less than two hours later.  Amazing!  He was so grateful.  He had been preparing himself to struggle and to just accept it and rely on the Lord - such humility and faith - and was praying for help.  When I gave him the audio player, he said, "This is an answer to prayer."  It's wonderful how the Lord is using my experience in helping Kellie to help others, too.  

Auditory learning is a learning style in which a person learns through listening. An auditory learner depends on hearing and speaking as a main way of learning.^[1] Auditory learners must be able to hear what is being said in order to understand and may have difficulty with instructions that are written. They also use their listening and repeating skills to sort through the information that is sent to them.

A Year Today

It is officially one year since my Josh entered the MTC as a full-time servant of the Lord.  It has been a year of amazing growth for him - and it has been wonderful to see.  I am grateful for the opportunity that he grasped to serve.  He is a better, stronger, more spiritual, kinder, gentler man than he was when he left.  Congrats on the year mark, son, you make me proud.

Happy 20th Elder Crowther!

Newborn Josh

Today my son is 20 years old.  Whoa.  I can't even wrap my mind around it and yet, it is true.  Seems even more unreal because it's the first birthday I haven't celebrated with him.  I just can't fathom him leaving his teens and being grown-up and mature (okay, maybe he's not mature, but he did leave his teens!).

Actually, I have a feeling that he is different from the young man I last hugged in October of 2011.  There has been growing and stretching and learning in him.  He has had challenges and experiences that have shaped him.  I have absolute faith that this mission in Korea was the very best path for him.  The only path, really, for him to become the man I always knew he could be and the man that God wanted him to be.

A few memories of my Josh:

• As a newborn, he'd go right to sleep if you scratched his back.  He still goes right to sleep when you scratch his back.
• His favorite movie as a toddler was Dumbo.  He loved it when the mama elephant rocked little Dumbo to sleep.  We watched it 3 times a day, every day for months.
• For years, he was a Power Ranger for Halloween.
• Up to age 6, he refused to eat any foods that were the color green.  
• He liked getting dressed up for church in nice pants, a white shirt, and tie.  For his 8th birthday and baptism, he insisted on a suit.
• As a 4th grader, he was put in charge of creating and maintaining his class website.  He and computers have a symbiotic relationship.
• When he started cooking on his own, he liked to get creative with the ingredients.  I distinctly remember the slightly under-cooked scrambled eggs seasoned with cinnamon.
• The first time a girl broke his heart, he came to me and wept in my arms.
• He drives like a mad-man.  I blame myself.  It's those darn Gresko genes.
• He stole the basketball on the inbound pass in game after game after game with those lurpy arms of his.  
• The look on his face on Skype when I opened up his mission call with it facing the camera and he read the word "Korea".

Happy birthday Josh - I love ya!

The Dumbo phase - about 20 months

Looking good on his 5th birthday

Hiking together when he was in 6th grade

Those long arms in basketball

Dropping my boy off at the MTC

Taken just a couple of days before his 20th birthday in Korea.  I love that he looks so happy!  And he's wearing the tie I sent him :)

Dad

The most enduring memory I have of my dad is his  voice.  It is distinct--deep and strong, like a foghorn cutting through the mist.  When I was little, I could pick my dad's voice out of any crowded room and knowing that he was near, I felt safe.  The notoriety of his voice was acknowledged among all my friends.  "What a loud, scary voice your dad has!"  But it wasn't scary to me.  It was the sound of love and acceptance and strength and fun.   It was the sound of laughter and songs sung and stories read and blessings given.  It was the sound of my dad.

My dad drives trucks for a living.  As a kid, when we rode in the car, I could be found on my dad's lap.  I would talk to him and listen to he and my mom talk back and forth and over time, I learned to drive while sitting there.   He taught me how to shift the gears and handle a long bed truck and by the time I got my learner's permit, it felt like I'd been driving my whole life.  Cars and trucks and driving.  That is the work of my dad.

My dad loved to read.  I remember him always with a book or a newspaper or scriptures in hand and our home overflowed with books.  I first began reading on my own at the age of 3, but I know that my dad read to me often before and after that achievement.  One of my favorite things was to sneak down early on Sunday mornings.  I knew my dad would be there reading the Sunday paper and I would take my own book or grab the comics and sit near him and just feel the camaraderie of two people reading together.  My own personal library was begun by my dad giving me books for my birthday and Christmas.  A love of reading is the gift of my dad.

When I was born, the first words out of my dad's mouth when he saw me were, "Oh no!  She looks like me!"   My mom quickly assured him this was not a negative and the oft-heard comment, "I could tell right away you were John's daughter" has always filled me with joy and pride.  In addition to his physical characteristics, I like to think that I am like him in his faith.  I have known, always known, that God was my Father, that He loved me, and that I needed to follow the example of my earthly father and have faith in my Heavenly Father and His Son.  Indeed, I have been born of goodly parents.  Believing in and following Heavenly Father and Christ is the faith of my dad.

There is a song that has always reminded me of my dad.  In tribute to my dad on this Father's Day, I include the lyrics here for him.  I love you, Dad!

An ordinary man,

He says he's nothing more than just an ordinary man,

And you might think you'd believe him,

though you'll never understand,

how love can flow so gentle from an ordinary man.

And there's magic in his touch,

When I'm sick or brokenhearted,

There is magic in the touch 

of his hand upon my head and when I hear his soft command,

I know that I have felt the special magic in his hands.

If the government could know his worth, I'm sure they'd raise his pay.

It's sad but true which we needed what a good man gets today.

He tells me I am beautiful, that I'm his Miss Universe.

I wish he wasn't taken, but my mother saw him first.

An ordinary man,

Still with his arms around me,

An extraordinary man when I'm heading straight for trouble,

And I'm leading with my chin,

He saves me from a crash by flashing me that knowing grin.

And if my Father up in Heaven is anything like him,

Then I would give the world to be with Him for all eternity,

And tell Him "thanks" for sending me to just an ordinary man.

Marathon

David and I ran a marathon yesterday.  26.2 miles.  Wow.  Here's David's version of things as told to our missionary son Josh in his weekly email:

We finished our Marathon yesterday!  It is so good to be done!  That was one of the hardest things that I have ever done in my life!  As you know, about 4 weeks ago during our 20 mile training run, I hurt my knees.  It was so tough and hurt so bad!  When I ran it felt like someone was pushing an ice pick into my knees.  The discouraging part was that it started happening earlier and earlier every time I ran.  The first time it happened at ~13 miles, the second time it happened at 7  miles, then 3 then 2.  I rested and rested, took lots of ibuprofen (my poor liver!), and iced my knees until I thought I was going to get frostbite.  Finally, I went in to Dr. Jackson.  He is the one who operated on my shoulder.  He confirmed that I had IT Band Syndrome.

Your IT Band runs from your hip to just below your knees.  It passes over a little protrusion in your knee and sometimes that gets inflamed and hurts like a banshie.  Dr. Jackson gave me a medrol pack that was supposed to reduce the inflammation.  It didn’t work, so this last Tuesday, I got a shot of cortisone.  My right knee felt good, but my left knee hurt even worse.  I couldn’t even walk.  Wed and Thursday were horrible!  Going up and down stairs took a long time because I was so gimpy.  Your mom prayed so hard!  Friday, I woke up and the pain that I had felt every step had dramatically reduced.  I could walk without limping!  Great huh - the day before 26.2 miles, I could walk without limping…  All day long, I prayed and prayed that I could run the next day.  I took a half day off work and your mom and I went to pick up our packets.  I had decided that I was going to run if I could, so Saturday morning at 3:00am the alarm clock went off.  I only got 1 hour of sleep the night before worrying about the race.  Your mom, Tony and I drove down to catch the bus up to Wallsburg.

It seemed like it took forever to get there.  The whole time, I was thinking, can I really do this?  What if my knees start hurting?  I decided then and there that if the pain started that my visualization would be to focus on your mom and I crossing the finish line holding hands.  I would concentrate on that to get me through the pain.

The beginning of the race was exciting!  There were so many people there.  There were about 50 port-a-potties there and there was a line to get into every one of them.  I was so nervous!

Your mom and I and Tony had decided to do the run-walk method.  It is where you run for a mile then walk for a minute.  The idea was that walking gave your running muscles a chance to relax and reduced some of the stress associated with the race.  My knee pain started about mile 7 or so.  It wasn’t as acute as it was before, so it was manageable, so I kept on running.

Your mom kept us on target.  She would drag Tony and I along every mile and encourage us to run again and again.  She was a great coach/athlete.  You're lucky to have such a marvelous and dedicated mom!  Between Tony and me, we would struggle along and she would be there offering encouragement and say let’s get going.

Previously, I had never ran more than 16 miles in a straight shot.  The day we ran 18 miles, it was broken up by watching the kids run at a track meet and our 20 mile run was interrupted by IT Band Syndrome and I walked the last 5 (well, more like limped the last 5).  So by mile 18, it was getting hard.  We kept running and running and running.  It was so hard!  The last 3 miles, one of the ladies that we know from the Stake was at an aid station.  She had agreed to run the last 3 miles with us.  She and mom just talked and talked while I just labored along behind.  She was so supportive and was a good cheerleader to me.  With about 2 blocks to go, your mom and I ran hand in hand all through the finish line.  The McCloskeys were there and took some great pictures.  I was so emotional that I couldn’t even talk.  Your mom was just happy - like she usually is.

I can tell you that it was great!  It was HARD - but as you know, we can do HARD things!  Your mom helped me so much.  She doesn’t even know how much, because lots of it was in my thoughts…When the pain got horrible, I just thought of her and crossing the finish line with her.  And I prayed - a lot!

The best thing was and is having a wonderfully hard thing that your mom and I can share the rest of our lives!  Hard things are like that.  It gives you something to reflect on and celebrate for the rest of your life.

Your mission is like that Elder Josher - be obedient and faithful and endure to the end by serving well and it will bless your life forever!

I do love that man - he is a treasure.

Busy, busy week

How many things can you do in a week?  I decided to really push it and see what I could accomplish.

Threw a bridal shower for my niece Marsali which involved two straight days of cooking with my sister, Heather.  The food was FABULOUS.

Hosted book club at my house - this is an amazing book.  You'll love it.  I promise.

Went to the funeral of my cousin Tara's little baby boy William.  So sweet and poignant and heart-wrenching.  Love them.

Took Alissa to get her braces off - yeehaw!  For the first time in years, no one is in braces.

Saw Marsali and her new husband Chris married in the Oquirrh Mountain temple.  Isn't she such a beautiful bride?  

Painted this daughter's bedroom

And this one

And taught this at the MTC.

All while training for this

  

And doing this, this, and this (well, not so much of the last one - I'm not a fan of cooking).

And now, I feel like this

And I'm hoping to do a little of this this week

You gotta love summer!

A Mother

I woke this morning with thoughts of my mother.  I was the one who made her a mother, and throughout her life, it was this role that she poured her whole soul into.  I carefully recall tender moments with my mom and turn them over in my mind.  I do this often to hold on to the sight and feel of her, now that there are no new memories being made.  At this moment, I picture her just on the other side, radiant and lovely in her heavenly state, my brother at her side and a smile on her face.  Love for her family flowing from her and through her, unrestrained.



Left: my mom and I at my baby blessing.


Right: my mom and I just a month before she passed away.





My thoughts move on to the one who made me a mother: my Josh, far away in Korea,serving the Lord and becoming a man of faith and strength, a man like his father.  Becoming a mother changed everything, EVERYTHING.  I received an email today from Josh's mission mom, Sister Furniss, which said,

We are grateful for the service Elder Crowther is giving to the Lord here in Korea.  He is devoting a part of his life to helping others have blessings that will last through eternity. We realize that much of our thanks goes to wonderful mothers who devoted a part of their life to raising these fine missionaries. Pres. David O. McKay said, “she who rears successfully … sons and daughters whose immortal souls will be exerting an influence throughout the ages … deserves the highest honor that man can give."


Your love is felt by your son each day.  The mission can be challenging, but your love is sustaining them.  It is said that when thoughts of your child are in your heart, they are never far away from home.  Abraham Lincoln said, “I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me.  They have clung to me all my life”.  As this Mothers’ Day approaches I hope you can feel assured that your love and prayers do cling to your child’s heart, and bless them as they faithfully serve the Lord.


What a privilege to be mother to my boy.


Thoughts of my girls bring a smile to my face and great joy to my heart.  Each one is a treasure.

Jenna and I when she was 11 months old.  Oh, how I love those beautiful blue eyes and smile - she warms my heart.

Kellie and I when she was 9 months old.  Kellie is joy and laughter and enthusiasm for life. 

Alissa and I when she was 2 months old.  Such a beautiful, chubby little thing.  I loved her baby cheeks!  She is a beautiful, tall, lovely lady now.

Katie and I at 6 months.  She was the last piece to our family puzzle and made everything seem complete.  How I love the kind and witty ways of my youngest.

How blessed I am for the gift of a mother who cherished her role.  How blessed I am for the opportunity to fill that role myself.  In this sacred charge is both opportunity and responsibility, joy and grief, and layer upon layer of love.  

P.S.  If you couldn't tell, I am a strong believer in the importance of mothers and mothering.  Check out this link to see a tribute to mothers.

Athletic Ladies

Our girls proved their mettle this Saturday on the track and the soccer field.  Check 'em out:

 Jenna at the start of the one-mile.

 Rounding the first corner.

 Setting a pace.

 Looking good, Jenna, keep it up.

 Passing in the last 100 meters- she loves to do that.

 New PR of 5:40 - happy girl!

Kellie at the start of the 800 meters.

 Trying to find a good groove.

 Picking up speed on the second lap.

 Passing a group at the 500m

 Taking off 

 Racing for the finish - collided with this girl and finished just .03 behind her at 2:28.

Alissa plays defender for Utah FC 

 Getting that ball out of there.

 Where will she send it?

 Everyone is closing in.

 Nice kick.

You go, girls!