Endings

When I was in nursing school, I got my first job as an LPN on a medical/oncology floor. It was the only job available and I was desperate for money. Like most nursing students, I wanted to go into obstetrics or pediatrics. Nobody says, "I want to work with the elderly and cancer patients."

But when I finished school, they wanted to hire me as an RN. I liked the challenge of the floor and the hours they were willing to give me, so I stayed, and guess what I found out? I have a talent for helping when it's time for things to end.

It's not a skill that you list on the your child's school information sheet when they ask you what talents you can share with the class. But it's invaluable when your neighbor who's caring for her terminal daughter calls you and says that something has "changed" and could you please come over and you get there and have to say, "Yes, she's close" and she passes away that night. People need someone at times like that who handle the hard things, and I can handle the hard things.

I'm finding my skill in much use these days as two essentials in my life are ending. The first isn't a person, but a place: Meridian School. I love this school. For the last 7 years, I have given my life to this school. And it is over. In the final moments, I had to say, "Stop trying to save it. It will not be what it should be. Let it go with dignity." I cannot tell you what it cost me to say that. I had to be strong and it was hard.

In the near future, this experience will be repeated with my mom, who I love more than I can express. I am grateful that I can be strong for her, can help as things come to an end; grateful that God gave me the skills to do so. I hope that she can pass with dignity and peace and that I can be there to help her.

It is difficult for me to talk about these things--my mom and the school--they are sacred to me because I have given so much of myself to them. I pray that God will increase my talent, increase my strength, that I might be able to do what must be done.

My mom and dad with Josh at his graduation from Meridian School in May.