I find it essential to my well-being and productivity to think ahead and plan what I (and my family) will be doing. Consequently, I have a very well-used planner that I always have with me that has writing on every single page (I prefer the old pen-and-paper method; it's just more satisfying to me than the electronic gadgets).
Today, my mom and I made plans.
What do you want to do as you get sicker? Be home with hospice or in the hospital?
Answer: Home with hospice.
Do you want family around as you get sicker?
Answer: I want my family to come and be with me, but I don't want anyone to do anything that makes them uncomfortable or afraid.
What do you want for your funeral?
Answer: I just want a graveside service, but I don't want everyone to be out in the heat (in Arizona). Just keep it simple.
What do you want for a casket/burial?
Answer: Don't spend a lot of money on it. It's just going in the ground. I'm not real particular about what city I'm buried in, just so long as your dad and I can be buried together.
These were hard plans to make because making them meant facing painful realities. We cried a lot...and after a bit, decided to talk about something else.
I'm glad we made plans. I'm glad I know what she wants and that she had the chance to tell me. I'm glad that we could cry together and plan for a future that isn't what we would choose, but one that we can face because we thought about it and talked about it and planned for it.
I think planning will give me strength for what is ahead.
My mom and I in 1974.
4 comments:
Thank you Kris. We need a planner. I have to admit that I looked at that picture and thought it was Alissa. She looks just like you. Beautiful. I am glad you thought of these things and had that hard conversation.
well, i have to disagree on one point here. there is no way we will just be able to get away with doing a graveside service!! your mom is way too well loved and your dad too, to not do a big, fill-the-church-to-overflowing service. ok, maybe not big, but there will be people there from far and wide to express their love for your mom and your family. she has made an impact on so many lives, and will continue to do so for so long. it is just mind boggling sometimes to think of the lives she has touched. you are so lucky to have such an amazing mother. and i am so blessed to have her as my mother in law. i love you guys, and hope these days are far in the future!
Your post made me cry. We send our love and prayers to your Mom and family. Still hoping for the best.
It touched me when she said Im not real particular about what city I'm buried in, just so long as your dad and I can be buried together. :) I love you Grandma!!!
Post a Comment