A Poem

Kellie wrote a poem that was chosen to be published by Creative Communication. I thought I'd include it here:

Nighttime Hours

The cool night breeze,

blowing the once illuminated leaves across the sky.

Each blade of grass flows evenly through the meadow.

A cold shiver runs down my spine,

the sweet smell of rain fills my nose.

A drop, and then one more,

the rain sprinkles, filling my mind with memories.

Then it stops, clearing my thoughts once more.

A distant clock dings, ten o-clock.

A flow of darkness closes in as the street light goes off.

I look up, the luminous moon is a light in my darkness.

Radiant stars guide me home to a quiet house and warm bed.

Tiny crickets chirp a simple melody.

I slowly drift to sleep,

there I lay waiting for nighttime hours to start again.

A Great Dad

David has been working with Jenna on her post moves in basketball - a lot. She goes to practice for 2 1/2 hours every day and then he goes down and works with her one-on-one for another hour after that.

At her last game, she got the ball, did a beautiful post move, made the basket and was fouled. As she walked to the free throw line, she looked right up at her dad in the stands and pointed to him with a huge grin. I looked at him and he was beaming back at her, then he said to me, "We practiced that move over and over."

It was the coolest moment. I was so proud of her for executing what she'd practiced and for inviting her dad to share in the joy.

Oh, and she made the free throw, too.

Braces Buddies

Kellie, Alissa, and I are officially "Braces Buddies" - a distinction the girls thought up when we put our teeth in prison a couple of days ago. It hurts. It really hurts. We are all on a voluntary liquid diet because our mouths are so sore - I've lost 2 lbs.!

Our orthodontist called this morning to see if we were still his friends. Not yet, but maybe someday.

Saying Yes

My bishop called me in and said, "So your husband tells me that you have a little extra time on your hands." (Thank you, dear.)

"Well, yes, that is true."

"We need someone to serve at the MTC as an investigator for the missionaries to practice on. It would be 8 hours a week. Is that something you could do?"

[Pause while I decide if I'm ready to take this on.] "Yes."

Oh, and we also wondered if you would be willing to be the Girls Camp Director. Don't you have two girls going to camp this year?"

"Three actually."

"Are you willing to do that?"

[Another pause while I consider this one because I know what I'm getting into, having done it before.] "Yes."

I knew at the moment I was saying it that these "yes's" were big for me. I have been saying "no" to many things lately because I just didn't have it in me. My well was dry. I needed time to fill it up. I am happy to report that the well has been getting fuller.

I get to be busy again, with good things that keep me close to my family.

Happy. :)

New

I purchased new bedding. I love it! I seriously sleep better under it. I've spent the last two days finding new drapery and new shower curtains and new rugs. I was thinking this morning about new: new year, new resolutions, new life. There's just something about new...I think that's why one of the most popular air fresheners is "new car smell."

I like the idea of starting with something fresh, something that hasn't been used up, damaged, altered, marred. Our first house as a married couple was new. We were the first to live there, the first to paint walls and hang pictures and make memories. When I dream, I am in that first house (trying to figure out how to make my whole family fit - it was a small home!)

I love the early morning because it is the start of a new day. I am usually the first in my house to greet it and I relish the quiet and beauty of the sun coming through the windows and the peaceful sleep of my family and knowing that I have hours in front of me to accomplish whatever I have to do.

I am thinking that I need to make a plan for the new year. With the loss of my mom, it is even more apparent to me that I want to live life deliberately. To take what is new and work it into something meaningful.

Finding Family on Facebook

In October of 2010, I got the idea to make a list of all the descendants of my great-grandparents Michael and Xenia Greshko. These are the folks who immigrated to the U.S. around 1902 from Galicia, Austria and settled in Pennsylvania. They had 10 children, my grandpa Bill Gresko was their 7th, and I'd always been vastly curious about them and the whole family.

All genealogists say to "start with what you know," so I began by laying out the family tree with the 10 kids and their spouses. Then I wrote down my own aunts and uncles and cousins since I am in contact with most of them. That was a pretty big group! My grandpa's descendants have been very proliferative. I also knew the daughter of my grandpa's sister (Joyce), so I got her address from my cousin, looked up her phone # with the online directory, and gave her a call. She was a delight, making me laugh with stories of her life in New Jersey. She was able to give me the info on her own family, that two of the Greshko siblings had not had any children, and the address of another of my grandpa's sister's sons. I sent this cousin a letter.

Lacking the patience to sit and wait, I began randomly searching names of relatives on Google, Dex directory, and of course, Facebook. My first success came with my cousin Andy Greshko. Somewhere in my mind, I'd stored that my first cousin, Michelle, had met one of our Greshko relations when she lived in Georgia. I even remembered that her name was Cheryl, so I began searching for "Cheryl Gresko or Greshko" on Facebook. I found a Cherie Greshko living in Georgia and sent her a message asking if she could be related. I also checked her friend list and saw that she was friends with an Andy Greshko, which is the name of the youngest Greshko child. I sent him a friend request, too.

Andy was the first to respond with this message: "Howdy from your Eastern cousins!"

Cherie quickly jumped on once she saw Andy and I were friends and I had a joyous couple of days sharing info back and forth. Their dad died very young and they didn't know much about the rest of the family, so they were eager to learn more. It was especially fun to me to learn that Andy has a daughter who looks exactly like our Aunt Alice! I told them about my search and they filled me in on their immediate family and were able to give some clues about others.

My next success came with an email from the cousin I'd sent the letter to: Jason Carriere. Jason told me he'd "google searched" me after receiving my letter and learned all about me from my blog! He and his wife were willing to get to know the rest of the family and to help with my quest. I asked them if they were on Facebook (they were) and they quickly accepted my friend requests. It was wonderful to see pictures of their kids and to learn their likes and interests so easily. I encouraged them to take a look at my profile, too. Jason was able to help me locate his only other Greshko first cousin (on Myspace) and to fill in the rest of his family. He and his wife are funny and smart and have two beautiful kids and we're all hoping to meet in person soon!

By this time, December was quickly approaching and I was preparing my Christmas cards. I also started making the descendancy list document that I hoped to send to everyone. I "friend requested" all of the cousins and sent messages asking for their mailing address. Everyone responded - it was amazing!

It was now the first week of December, and I had found all the family except for that of my grandpa's older brother Pete. I had the names and birthdays of his 5 children. The only lead I had was a letter from his daughter Carol to my grandparents written 12 years earlier which located her in Bullhead City, AZ. I sent a letter to the address on the envelope, but ...nothing. I contacted my dad's sister, Myrna, who is also a genealogist, and she told me that Carol was near her daughter and her kids in Apache Junction, AZ. Repeatedly searched sites all over the internet, again, with no luck.

One day on Facebook, I was randomly searching for the 5 names of the kids (again) when I found a "Peter Michael Gresko" whose age matched the age of the son. I sent him a friend request explaining who I was and asking if we were related. He also had a "Carol Gresko" among his friends, so I sent her a message, too. After two anxious days of waiting, Pete accepted my friend request. Once he did, Carol quickly responded and sent me a message. "I saw that you are friends with my brother Pete and that you have Gresko in your name. Are we related?" "YES! I think we are!" I replied.

Over the next few days with Carol's help, I was filled in on a whole line of family that I had known nothing about: 30+ descendants. Many of them were on Facebook and quickly accepted my friend requests. I finished the descendancy chart, printed it out, and sent it along with my own Christmas letter to 33 Greshko families. Over the last month, I have received Christmas cards back from many of these relations, often with a note thanking me for the chart and for finding them. I was tickled to receive a photo of my cousin Jason and his family and to see that he has the same dark, curly Gresko hair that my dad and Grandpa have! Several of the families have twins (which runs in the family) and so many of the boys have the classic Gresko "look" - very handsome men!

Thinking back on this whole process, it is just amazing to realize how quickly I found everyone, especially in genealogy timelines. In less than two months, I found over 50 people that I had known nothing about and was able to contact them and receive replies back. I've seen pictures of them, learned about their interests and families, and been able to establish a connection that I plan to nurture in the coming years. I am so grateful for the men in the family who were the first to respond to my friend requests, and the women who saw those friendships and quickly jumped on board to give information. How blessed I have been by this whole experience!

I spent Christmas with my dad and while we were there, I signed him up for Facebook. "It was the men who responded first, Dad. You've got to be on there so that we can find our family."

He happily agreed.

In Memory of the Provo Tabernacle

Early on the morning of my 40th birthday, the Provo Tabernacle caught fire. The irony of it was that just shortly after learning this, I received a cello for my birthday -- a wish that first began in the Provo Tabernacle.

Over a decade ago, I was sitting in the Tabernacle listening to a concert by the Utah Valley Orchestra. There was a flier advertising an orchestra for people over 40. You had to be new at your instrument and you had to be over 40. I thought how much I wanted to learn to play the cello, but I was in the midst of having kids and raising a young family and so I decided, "When I turn 40, I am going to learn to play the cello and join this orchestra." In the years since, I have held onto that goal, and as my 40th approached, I made it very clear that for this birthday, I wanted a cello. In my mind, I could see myself on the raised platform in the Provo Tabernacle playing with the orchestra.

So it was the ultimate irony to receive that long-awaited cello at the same moment that the source of that dream was going up in flames. This year of 2010 seems determined to demonstrate the law of opposition for me. Did you know that my mom passed away on my 20th wedding anniversary?

The Tabernacle has been a place of important happenings for me: the aforementioned orchestra concert, our family's first Meridian Vespers Christmas performance, multiple stake conferences, a Messiah Sing-along, and most recently, my son's high school graduation. It was a place where significant things happened: events that celebrated accomplishments and evoked the Spirit of God and caused me to pause in the daily grind of life to celebrate that which is better. I was able to play the organ in the Tabernacle; an intimidating yet heady experience.

I think it is appropriate that last night at the memorial concert for the Tabernacle that I could not stop the tears from flowing. It may have been just a building, but it was also the place of some of my most tender memories. I will mourn its loss and rejoice in the experiences there that meant so much to me.

Read the story of the concert last night