Crowther Family 7

Jenna = "God's Gracious Gift"

2012-02-01T08:50:00.000-08:00

My Jenna is 17 today - I am a little bit in shock.

But I cannot deny that this gorgeous creature who calls me "Mom" has become a grown-up young lady.

She is truly amazing, on so many levels. Let me tell you about some of them:

She is smart as a whip. She has the vocabulary of the full-size edition of the Webster's Dictionary. It's from all the reading she does, every day, for as much time as she can. The girl can speed-read, and she understands the nuances and intricacies of the most challenging of plots.
She is incredibly beautiful. The blue eyes, the long eyelashes, the curly hair, the long, lean frame. But really, all of that is only a lovely covering for the beauty within: a gentle heart, an easy-going nature, a desire to do good and be good.
She is a fighter. She keeps this hidden behind a smile and friendly demeanor, but she won't give up. You can see this especially when she competes in sports: you think she's this nice girl until she knocks you down to get the ball. But she does help you up again afterwards.
She is deeply spiritual. She knows where she came from, why she's here, and where she's going. She loves the Lord, trusts in Him, and places her life in His hands. Her faith is a deep well that she dips into regularly and shares freely with others.
She is full of fun little quirks, like: hiding food in her room so that she always has a good treat, learning to play the ukelele, reading the Harry Potter books over and over and over, wearing flip-flops and shorts in the snow, and watching Asian cartoons on Youtube.

One of my dearest memories of Jenna is when she was a baby and we were in her room together. I was talking on the phone to a friend and Jenna was crawling around, playing with her toys and looking at her books (yes, even then). She climbed into my lap, snuggled in, and fell asleep. I was so surprised because this girl liked to sleep in her bed, and only in her bed. I told my friend what had happened, and she said, "You are so blessed to have that experience."

She was right. Because I have Jenna in my life, I am so blessed.

Love you, my Jenna. Happy birthday!

Missing My Boy

2012-01-15T19:35:00.000-08:00

It hit me that I will not see my son at all in 2012. I'm so grateful he's serving a mission, but missing him a little. I begged for pictures today and he complied. Doesn't he look gorgeous? I love him!

Christmas Cards

2011-12-29T16:14:00.001-08:00

Thank you to everyone who sent me a Christmas card this month. They made me so happy! I have no idea when I'll take them down...I love them.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T19:17:00.000-08:00

A wonderful Christmas with my tall, beautiful daughters and generous husband - our theme was doggie jammies in honor of our number one Christmas present: our dog, Ginger.

Hugging and loving my dad and sister who traveled to spend Christmas with us.

Topped off by a 2-hour phone call with my missionary son, who was blessed to teach and baptize a Korean brother on Christmas Day. So thankful.

Looking Like Christmas

2011-12-24T07:47:00.000-08:00

Making sugar cookies for our neighbors.

Got this pic at the local Christmas tree lot.

Crazy Holiday Season

2011-12-11T11:25:00.001-08:00

It's been a crazy couple of weeks! Lots of basketball games (16 in one week). Here's a few pictures from some of our stuff:

Jenna and Kellie all dressed up to go to the Ugly Sweater dance at school.

Katie at her first basketball game.

Kellie's official pic for the sophomore team.

Jenna's official pic for the JV/Varsity team.

Looking alot like Christmas

2011-11-30T13:20:00.001-08:00

It's looking a lot like Christmas at my house and I'm so glad because I like all our Christmas decorations! Here's a little virtual tour:

These are the stuffed animals - I had to put them all together this year in a room away from the dog because we discovered that the dog LOVES to pull the ears off of stuffed toys. I especially love the Rudolph and penguin.

These three are of the windows in my kitchen right by the sink. I stand at these windows a lot to look out back at Utah Lake (and do dishes), so I put all my favorite little knick knacks there. Favorites here are the sock snowman, "Teach the Children" poem and sack, picture of Mary and Jesus, wood manger scene, and little plaid Santa sack (which I have had for like 18 years).

Christmas trees - I love them! We have them in every room, including the girls bedrooms.

This is the tree in front of our house. Last year, we had Josh and Kellie climb up and put lights all in it. This year, I found gigantic ornaments to hang on it.

Kitchen Christmas tree - I use little lightbulb necklaces for the lights and the ornaments are new this year: snowmen and reindeer.

Our "Jesus tree" - the first year that Katie was in our home (2001) I got all the pictures of the Savior that I could find and we decorated them with paper and glitter and then hung them on the tree along with a "gift" of an act of service we would perform for Jesus' birthday.

Stockings hung by the chimney with care - I bought all the stockings and cross stitched everyone's name on them as each child arrived. The hangers are a new things for this year. I've always wanted them!

Our main tree. When David's grandpa was alive, he would send us money every year for Christmas. About 5 years into our marriage, we used the money to buy this tree. Every year when we put it up, we think of him and his kind, generous love for us. The ornaments are pictures of my children - my mom learned how to create them when we were kids and she helped us learn. My sister made some of these for me as a gift one year, and I have added some since then.

Elves! My sister-in-law made these cute elves each year and sold them at Christmastime. One year, she gave us a personalized one for each member of our family. This year, they're sitting on this shelf in the kitchen/dining - I usually pose them funny, this year Josh is lying down :)

Door hanger - I've had this for years and I just think it's cute.

Nativity - my mom got this for us many years ago when she decided she wanted all her children to have a nativity. It's still in pretty good shape except for the baby Jesus who has been held and dropped too many times by loving children.

One more tree to come: this year we're getting a live tree for our TV room, partly because we have so many ornaments and partly because we just think it'll be fun!

Ginger

2011-11-26T20:40:00.000-08:00

Two weeks ago, a dog wandered into the Thunderdome at Timpview. The girls coach, Jaimie, felt sorry for the dog and said to Jenna, "Jenna, take this dog home and I'll be by to get her later." Well, later didn't happen and after realizing that the dog didn't have any tags and no way to find its owner, we called Animal Control. We could tell that the dog was well-trained: she sits, shakes, rolls over, so we knew that she'd had an owner and been well-loved. Animal Control took her to the shelter where they found that she'd had a microchip under her skin to identify her owner, but after following all the info on that, they ended up at a dead end.

In the meantime, we were told that if she wasn't claimed by Saturday, that she would go up for adoption. David and I were praying that the owners would be found because we just didn't know if we were ready for a dog. The shelter called us on Wednesday and asked if we were interested in adopting her and I said, "Well, we don't want her to be put down, so if her owners aren't found, then call us." Turns out, what the lady really meant was, "someone else is interested in adopting the dog, so if you want first chance, you need to say so" but she didn't say that.

On Friday, I woke up and knew that I wanted to adopt that dog, so you can imagine my dismay when I called the shelter and they said, "Well, we called you and we have an application from someone else, so you'll have to turn in an application, too, and then we'll give the dog to the best home for her." I hustled down and filled out an application and the next morning, we got the call that we were pet owners!

The dog is a girl who all my girls named Ginger within moments of first finding her. She is a cocker spaniel, super cute. The shelter estimated her age at 8 years, but a trip to the vet put her at 3 years old. The hair on her ears and legs and belly was so matted that the people at Petsmart were nice enough to clip it off her even though she couldn't be completely groomed until 48 hours after her rabies shot. She came out of that experience a completely different-looking dog. Still cute, but SHORT hair. The super plus: she smells so much better!

We are getting used to the new responsibility and adjusting to taking the dog for walks and out to go potty and all the things that go along with a pet. She absolutely loves us and does not want to be alone. She likes to go outside, but she will not explore unless someone from the family is out there with her.

So, I am a pet owner. I can't believe I just wrote that.

They made the team!

2011-11-10T15:29:00.000-08:00

Jenna and Kellie made the Timpview girls basketball team! Hurray! Wahoo! Yeehaw! Even more amazing because only 16 girls were selected for the combined JV/Varsity team and Jenna was one of those, and only 6 girls for the sophomore team and Kellie was one of those. Good job, girls! I can't wait to spend the next 4 months watching you play!

Halloween

2011-11-03T08:22:00.000-07:00

We definitely enjoyed Halloween, the holiday otherwise known as "gorge yourself on candy day." I have eaten so much chocolate the last few days that I actually wanted to have a salad yesterday. It takes a lot of sugar to get me to that point!

Alissa and her friends went as fairy ninjas - the perfect combination of girlie and tough!

Katie and her friend Grace went as pirates and were joined by some other neighbor friends.

Jenna and Kellie wanted to dress up (Egyptian and princess), but I was a little hesitant about them going trick-or-treating (too old?) so I said they could go to all their young women leaders. This turned out to be the best because they got full-size candy bars for their efforts!

Mom

2011-11-02T04:28:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, my daughter called another woman "Mom".

I was surprised that this struck me with such force.

"But I'm "Mom," I protested mentally, at least when it comes to this child.

I tried to brush it off, no big deal, I'm not bugged, but the fact that I am awake at 5am with a tear in my eye tells me that this was no small thing to me and I have to wonder: why?

Perhaps it is that the word itself is entwined around a woman and a relationship that I spent decades deciphering. My relationship with my mom was...complicated. Two very different personalities, struggling to find harmony amidst conflicting ideas and viewpoints. I spent my teenage years grappling with her on every issue, disagreeing on the vast majority of them. In my early adulthood, I blamed her for some of my own troubles while at the same time, recognizing that no one loved me with the same intensity that she did, nor was there was anyone I trusted quite as much as I trusted her.

Fortunately, God is kind, and He brought me into startlingly close proximity with my mom to work out my lifetime of conflicting emotions until together, we found understanding, resolution, peace.

I think it is this battle that makes the term more precious. "Mom" is not a title that I apply casually. There is only one person who has earned that name in my life, and I guard carefully its application; hence, the strong emotions when it came out of the mouth of my own child towards someone other than me.

I cannot deny that I am incapable of raising my children without the help of other women. I am not the end-all of mothers, nor am I the perfect fit for every one of my children, and there are many areas in which I am seriously found wanting. There are countless women who have stepped up to fill these gaps in my childrens' lives and I am profoundly grateful that they would care enough about children who are not their own to help this way. I cannot say that I have done the same. More and more the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child" echoes through my mind as I see my offspring become more than I could have helped them to be on my own.

So why the frantic stirrings over a title so small as "Mom"? Are we not all mothers?

And yet, a small part of me protests, "But these are MY children. I bore them. I sacrifice for them. I love them in a way that I love no other children and, I believe, in a way that no other person could love them."

I will have to think on this one.

Goblins

2011-10-23T10:27:00.001-07:00

We spent two days camping out in Goblin Valley - the girls loved it! Me? Well, I surely didn't appreciate that the nearest (and only) restroom was the rock around the bend, but I did like telling scary stories and funny jokes and seeing shooting stars and watching Jenna, Kellie, and Alissa choreograph their own dance routine to Justin Bieber's "Baby" (they swear they aren't fans, but they know EVERY WORD to this song). I also love the beautiful pictures of the red rock area of Utah and eating s'mores and all the funny poses of my girls.

I hear there is a movie (Galaxy Quest?) that has some scenes shot in Goblin Valley...any opinions on whether we should watch?

State Champ

2011-10-20T09:32:00.001-07:00

My daughter is a state champ - 'tis true, 'tis true. Her cross country team came in second in the Utah 4A race - running a difficult, hilly course that taxed their determination and spirit. It's a good things she's run over 500 miles in the last few months so that she could be ready!

Much thanks to her fabulous coach, Jaimie, and to the girls on the team who all support and encourage each other. And thanks, also, to her former coach, Travis Madsen, who got off work just to come watch her and whose cheering in the final moments gave her that little push she needed to keep going. We love you guys! Oh - and Jenna's team is nationally ranked. You can check that out here: http://espn.go.com/high-school/girls-cross-country/team-rankings/fab50

Double Digits

2011-10-12T08:29:00.000-07:00

Today is Double Digits Day for my youngest child. The big 1-0. Yep, she's 10. She was so excited about this that she woke up at 4:15 this morning. But then, a downer because she wasn't actually born until 4:59 am so she wasn't really 10 yet. Fortunately, she was able to fall back to sleep and wake up at 6:45 fully and officially 10 years old. Whew!

How I love my Katie Lois. She was the only one of my 5 children that we didn't find out was a boy or a girl before she was born. I wanted a surprise, so we could hear the words, "It's a girl!" and laugh with joy at the wonder of life and the fact that WE HAD FOUR GIRLS!

Katie is an individual. She has definite opinions about the when and where and why of life. She has a flair for the dramatic, and keeps us chuckling with her observations of life. She loves to laugh, and when she gets to giggling, she inevitably ends up with the hiccups (she had the hiccups the whole time I was pregnant with her). Her heart is tender, filled with compassion for babies and children and animals and suffering. At her young age, she understands what it means to mourn with those who mourn.

It can be a tough gig being the youngest. Lots of people telling you what to do or not to do, ratting you out to Mom and Dad, and you always get stuck in the back seat because you're the smallest. But then, there are the perks: you're still small enough for Mom to snuggle and smooch, you still want and get toys for Christmas and birthdays, and you can still order off the kids menu at restaurants where the macaroni and cheese is plentiful and comes with a drink (Sprite) and a dessert.

I love you, Katie! Welcome to double digits! I'm so glad you picked us as your family!

1st picture: the shirt Josh sent her from his mission.

2nd picture: Laughing at the card Grandpa Gresko sent her; it sings "Shake It Up, Baby Now!"

My Missionary

2011-10-07T08:11:00.000-07:00

One of the things I do at the MTC is act in a short play that the missionaries see the Friday before they depart for their assigned missions. Since Josh leaves for Korea tomorrow, I knew he would be at the one this week, so I brought David along.

We were able to give our Elder Crowther a hug and a Korean flag cake and money, but mostly our love and support. Doesn't he look fabulous? And he's so excited and ready to go to Korea.

These are some of my favorite pictures from his two and a half months in the MTC. I LOVE MY MISSIONARY!!

Big group photo at the Provo temple with all the Korean missionaries.

Learning the language.

He loves Korea!

The sisters and elders in his district.

Josh, Elder Miller, Elder Gomez, and Elder McCausland have been together in the MTC for the entire 12 weeks.

Good men!

Lean on me.

Sporty Girls

2011-10-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

Early on in our family, when we were having girls, girls, and more girls, David voiced his opinion on which direction we should try to steer their interests:

"I want them to be sporty girls," he said. "Girls who can play sports are a lot cooler to guys than girlie girls." (Although attracting the guys is the last thing he wants for them now!)

Add to that statement an oft-spoken disdain for cheerleading and other "girlie" pursuits and you end up with what we have now: a houseful of sporty girls.

They are pretty cool, I must admit.

And strong. These girls can endure and overcome all kinds of troubles and difficulties; in short, they can do hard things. Every time I watch them run a race or compete in a game and see them sweating or hurting or struggling, and then watch them push through it and finish with determination, I am in awe.

These amazing creatures are my children.

Now, lest you think we haven't allowed them the opportunity to explore all their interests, let it be known that I put them all in dance classes (much to the chagrin of their dad, but he did pay for it and attend all their performances, with flowers and a smile). But it was the sports that stuck.

[They also all play various instruments, perform in plays, and are excellent students. But that is another story...]

The really great thing now is that we have so many activities that we can do together as a family: hiking and running and basketball and soccer. Plus, they're good for us! Keeps the ever-aging mom and dad spry and agile (or at least moving).

So I'm grateful that my good husband put a plug in for sporty girls. I love 'em!

Playing hoops with Dad.

Anniversaries

2011-09-28T05:56:00.001-07:00

The law of opposition is alive and well in my life, as evidenced by the anniversaries I celebrate this day.

21 years ago, I married my David in the Salt Lake temple. I was staying at my aunt's house and I woke so early that morning after not sleeping all that well so that I could get ready to go to the temple. My mom helped me with my hair and then she and my dad and I drove to Salt Lake. I was so nervous, and then so relieved to see David there and put my hand in his. It has remained there all these years.

Our marriage was christened first thing with a choice to laugh or cry when a flock of seagulls flew over us while we were taking pictures on the steps of the temple and decided to unload (think: poop). We both looked at each other and knew we had a choice to make; we decided to laugh. It was an excellent decision and one we have made many times since.

David is the constant in my life. My friend, helpmeet, lover, and soulmate. In times of joy or sorrow, my first thought is to turn to him. He is a gem of a man and I am a blessed woman.

Opposition: one year ago today, I sat in a room at hospice house, listening to the labored breathing of my mom. When I arrived that morning, I went straight to her and said, "I love you, Mom." She said, "I love you." A few hours later, that breathing changed, and then she was gone. Home to that God who gave her life.

I sank to my knees by her bed with a crush in my chest unlike anything I've known.

How do you go on without your mother? With great difficulty. And by remembering how she would have wanted you to live your life: with joy, with courage, with love.

So today, I will celebrate my husband and my marriage and remember the love of my mother.

Knowing joy because I've known sorrow.

Happy Birthday Mom

2011-09-20T13:41:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of my mom with each of my kids. Oh, how she loved her grandchildren! (and children too).

Today is her birthday and to remember her, I went to the temple and took the letter that she wrote me before she died to read in the Celestial room. I love seeing her handwriting and I am so grateful that I spent the last month with her so that I can picture exactly how she looked when she wrote that letter. It brings her so close.

I miss her, you know?

Storytelling Festival

2011-09-04T08:56:00.000-07:00

We spent yesterday at the Timpanogos Storytelling Festival. This event has been going on right up the road from us for 22 years and this was the first time for many of us to attend. In addition to the stories, they had a pottery tent that Alissa and Katie absolutely loved. They worked on sculpting this dragon for over an hour when we finally dragged them away to listen to a story. Great, great time! My favorite storyteller: Donald Davis.

Climb a mountain

2011-08-28T06:33:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was a monumental day in the lives of three of my girls. Jenna, Kellie, and Alissa hiked to the very top of Mt. Timpanogos and recited "The Living Christ" from memory.

Some things I am grateful for:

Their strong, healthy bodies that got them from the bottom to the top and back again in one piece.
Their fertile minds that were able to memorize a 1200+ word document about the Savior.
Their willing hearts to take on this challenge.
Their tenacity that kept them at the memorizing and exercising, putting one foot after another no matter how difficult.
Their young women leaders who supported and encouraged them and then traveled the harrowing path with them. How I love the village that helps me raise my children!
The general young women president of my church who told all of our young women: "you can do hard things!" and then challenged them to prove it.
Our bishop who climbed the entire mountain two weeks before to make sure it was safe and then climbed it again with the girls. Plus, his military training to just "push through and keep going" - he is awesome!

and finally....

their testimonies of Christ and His gospel. They know that it's true and they know of His love for them.

I am so blessed to be their mom.

Mt. Timpanogos - Utah County

First Day of School

2011-08-23T10:39:00.001-07:00

Our first day of school was staggered this year. Kellie headed off first to Freshman Academy at Timpview - a day of just freshmen to get them all oriented before the "big kids" get there.Katie was next, a veteran at Edgemont, now in the 5th grade.

Alissa was last, riding the bus for the first time, and off to the 7th graders only day at Centennial.

Jenna spent that day at home doing her AP English homework (and she was not alone in this as I learned this was how many juniors spent the day). She headed to her first day this morning, in the car, with her friend and our neighbor, Mimi in tow (Kellie was in the back seat). Consensus so far: we like school.

I did it!

2011-08-13T08:50:00.000-07:00

In June, I set a goal for myself to run a 10K. It's been a challenge to get in shape for it and I admit to having some moments of psyching myself out. But today, I did it!

I ran in the Run Like a Girl race up in Midway. Jenna was awesome and ran it with me (and took 2nd place overall - she's so amazing!)

Time: 57 minutes. Jenna ran in 44. I feel great! (and I didn't stop, not up the hill, not at all - yay!)

Before the race

After the race

2nd place medal - wahoo!

What a July!

2011-07-25T17:58:00.001-07:00

This month has been a crazy whirlwind ! Here's a picture play-by-play:

On the 4th of July, we all ran the 5K Freedom Run in Provo. Provo has the best 4th of July celebration anywhere!!

July 9 - 16 we spent a week on our houseboat at Lake Powell. We hiked up Hole In the Rock, visited Rainbow Bridge, climbed up and ran down the sand dune in Moqui Canyon and swam and skied and ate. Fun!

July 19-23 Jenna, Kellie, Alissa, and I went to Girls Camp at MIA Shalom up Fairvew Canyon. Best camp ever!

Josh gave his mission farewell talk in our ward on July 24th. He gave the most beautiful talk about enduring to the end and then we had our family and friends over for food and talk. Get a more detailed account on Josh's "Elder Crowther" blog: http://eldercrowther.blogspot.com/

Gresko Reunion

2011-06-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

We had a great time at our family reunion in Reno, Nevada - I'd never been there before. My favorite was hiking in to Lake Tahoe and enjoying the beautiful scenery and watching the kids play. I also loved hugging all my brothers and my dad and eating chocolate with my sisters-in-law, daughters, and niece at The Chocolate Bar. I LOVE FAMILY!

My dad got most of his grandchildren to jump into the 53 degree lake - freezing!

We had a picnic with my dad's brother's kids (my cousins) - lots of fun.

David and I enjoying the lake - looking pretty good for 40-something's, huh?

We all stayed at my brother Steve's house - set up a tent city in his backyard. :)

Running

2011-06-09T17:09:00.000-07:00

Our family has been running a lot this summer. A couple of weeks ago, we ran a 5K as a family. Jenna actually came in 3rd of all the women there and got a medal. Cool.

I have been considering running a 10K. Up 'til now, I have been very content to stick with the 5K's. I feel like a winner there. But someone said, "If you can run 3 miles, you can just as easily run 6." So I'm thinking about it...and testing the waters.

Twice now, I have run 4.6 miles and 4.8 miles. Only another 1.2 miles and I'll be up to a 10K. I will admit, it was hard. I never did get that "runner's high" at the 3-mile mark I was promised, but I didn't stop, so maybe I have it in me.

Goal for now: 10K at the end of the summer.

For my mom--

2011-05-08T05:57:00.000-07:00

I miss you.

I miss hearing your voice on the phone.

I miss seeing you in your beautiful clothes with your hair and make-up carefully done.

I miss how you really cared that Alissa got 4 goals in a soccer game and that Katie had a kool-aid stand.

I miss how you kept track of everyone in our family and made sure we got together and knew what was going on in each other's lives.

I love you.

I love how you would tell me how pretty I looked on Sunday.

I love that you truly wanted to be at all of my kids' activities.

I love that you loved me exactly for who I was.

I love that family was the most important thing to you and that we knew it by your actions.

I remember.

I remember your ring that you wanted me to have. I wear it around my neck.

I remember that you were worried that we wouldn't remember you. We do.

I remember the feel of your warm hand firmly gripping mine. I wish you still could.

I remember your last words to me, "I love you, too." Love you, Mama.

I remember that you said you would always be watching over us. I'm so glad.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

Heavenly Thoughts

2011-04-23T06:24:00.000-07:00

We had the most wonderful spring break in Arizona last week. It is so warm there. Every morning, I would go out and run and just feel the sun and the sweet breeze and smell the blossoms. Heavenly.

We hit up the Maricopa County Fair and got to play a little basketball. My girls are awesome at the game of speed...seriously. They took this picture of us (Trenton is the little halfling, there really is another side of him). I miss my mom.

This week at the MTC I was taught about the plan of salvation. No surprise, because I am taught that many times a week, but this particular time was different. I knew without a doubt that God has a plan for us, for our lives, and that He so much wants our happiness. He loves each one of us. He loves me. At the end, the sweet motherly sister missionary and I hugged each other and cried. In reflection, they didn't teach me anything I didn't already know. It was more that I was realizing all over again that what they were teaching really is truth.

Heaven.

Korea

2011-03-23T21:18:00.001-07:00

Korea Daejeon Mission.

An amazing day as he opened his call virtually (thank you, Skype) and we all knew instantly that it was the perfect place for him.

Now we're just euphoric and excited and smiling, smiling, smiling.

More later.

Waiting for the call

2011-03-22T13:26:00.000-07:00

I am waiting for "the call". Mission call that is.

I have been waiting since Saturday. Our bishop called on Friday and said that the status of my son's paperwork had been changed to "call sent". I have great faith in our postal service and told my husband so when he said I shouldn't get my hopes up that the letter would show up on Saturday. "It's only an hour away," I reasoned. But no call.

Sunday, of course, there is no mail service, but I was primed for Monday. "They've had all weekend to get it here," I said. Alas, no call.

Today, I am beginning to get desperate. I woke up at 5am. I've only checked the mailbox once so far, but I've been watching since 12:30. My son has already called. My husband has already called. Thankfully, my neighbor put up her red flag so I don't have to keep walking out to the mailbox in the snow (that's spring in Utah for you).

How do people stand this?

Happy 14th Kellie girl!

2011-03-19T07:52:00.001-07:00

On March 20th, we celebrate the birth of my beautiful girl, Kellie Lynne.

I have never been so sick in my whole life as when I was pregnant with her. Turns out there were twins and I lost one of them, but Kellie hung in there and came into the world on the first day of spring. So appropriate.

In the hospital, I had her laying on the bed by me while I waited for the doctor to come in to release me. He entered and asked me a question. I answered and Kellie heard my voice and deliberately turned her head and looked right at me. The doc said in surprise, "She knows you!" Yes, she does.

Kellie inherited the "brown Gresko gene" which means she turns the color of a chocolate chip cookie if the sun even touches her skin. At 6 months old, I had people ask me if I took her tanning because she was so brown. (Seriously?) I love seeing her brown skin in the summer - she carries a part of me in her. Lucky me.

These are some of my favorite things about Kellie:

her smile - it's a little metallic right now, but it lights up her whole face & makes you smile right along with her.
her organization - her room and life are in order, she likes to have her day planned, her week planned, her life planned. A girl after my own heart.
her drive - Kellie gets things done. She sets goals, she works hard, she accomplishes much.
her charisma - Kellie connects with people. She can reach them and they respond to her. This is especially true with little children. She has been a "mom" from day one. How lucky her children will be to have her.
her athleticism - Kellie has arm muscles! None of the women in our family were blessed with this. She is strong and fast and I love watching her shoot the basketball and serve the volleyball and swim the butterfly. Poetry in motion.
her love - most every night, Kellie comes in to my room and "tucks me in" and lays next to me and we talk and laugh. I am so blessed.

Have a wonderful birthday, my Kellie. You were worth every moment of sickness it took to get you here and then some. The world is lucky to have you!

Rex Lee Run

2011-03-12T11:45:00.000-08:00

I ran in the Rex Lee Run today for my mom.

The run has been going on for many years now in memory of former BYU President Rex Lee to raise funds for cancer research at BYU. When I was working as a nurse, I took care of Rex Lee when he was undergoing cancer treatments. Sadly, the cancer claimed his life, just like it took my mom's, but the work of the researchers at BYU has been effective in advancing treatment in the fight against cancer.

In the opening ceremony, I thought about my mom and my love for her and how I missed her and the tears flowed. As I ran, I felt so strong and good and at the end when I got so tired, I thought about my mom and all the others with cancer who suffer and fight and struggle when they think they can't bear it anymore.

I love you, Mama.....glad I could run in honor of you today.

Happy Birthday Alissa!

2011-03-03T09:01:00.000-08:00

Today my Alissa Jean turns 12 years old.

I like to think about the moment I first saw her. She had had the cord around her neck, so they whipped her away pretty quick and were working to get her breathing. Then, her body temp was low, so they had her in a warmer. I was thinking, "I worked hard to get that baby here; I want to hold her!" The doctor was talking about sending her to the NICU at another hospital if her temp wouldn't come up. Then, the nurse came in and said, "I want to try something." She brought Alissa to me and laid her right on my chest, skin-to-skin, and I held and snuggled her close. In 15 minutes, her temperature came right up, her breathing settled, and she was alright.

Now, that once tiny little girl is my tallest 12-year so far. At 5'6", she is long arms and long legs and well, tall! I love to watch her enter a room. She is confident, her head high, her shoulders back, quick to smile. She is quickly mastering so many new things: math and reading and basketball and cello. She is extremely perceptive and often makes us laugh at the way she truly gets the world. Like the time Josh came home from college and he was saying "freakin'" before and after and in the middle of every sentence. After a half day of this, Alissa asked him, "Why is everything 'freakin'?"

I love the artist in her, that joys in paint and pen and paper and creating. She is excellent at drawing and I have determined to stop asking her, "Did you trace that?" She gets very insulted. I am delighted that she decided to play the cello and that she keeps me on my toes in my own practicing: "Watch your thumb, Mom." I rejoice in the affection she has for her dad, who is the best at helping her through her trials and troubles and teases and challenges her.

You are a wonder, Alissa Jean--Lissy bear--Lulu--thanks for being my girl!

Need a Ride?

2011-02-24T16:51:00.000-08:00

I picked up two different hitchhikers today.

Let me say that I never pick up hitchhikers. NEVER. But it seemed that the cosmic forces aligned to make it the thing to do not once, but twice, so I went along.

The first was this morning as I was taking my youngest two to school. I pulled up to the stop sign to head down the steep hill that leads to my house and a kid whips by me on a skateboard. He was going at least 40 mph - no kidding. He had his arms out and I thought, "I bet it feels like he's flying." It was pretty cool. In Alissa's words, "Mom! Did you see that guy?" I got down the hill, dropped my girls off, and headed back towards home. There was the flyer, walking up that steep hill, skateboard in hand, thumb out, hoping for a ride back to the top. I pulled over and said, "Hop in. I'll take you up." He reported he's been cruising down the hill for 4 days now and confirmed that it does, indeed, feel like flying. He said that sometimes he gets going so fast that his feet will start to rise off the board; that is scary! We talked some about crashing and he said that he's had a few falls. Last summer, he slid so fast that his shirt caught on fire. I wished him a good flight down and went home thinking that was the first -- and last--time that I would pick up a hitchhiker.

This afternoon, I dropped two of my girls off at home and started down the same steep hill to retrieve David from work (did I mention that I have been in my car all day today?) Off to the side, who should I see but a guy and a girl walking down the hill with their thumbs out. I didn't even hesitate, just pulled over and said, "Where are you headed?" They weren't going far, so I told them to hop in and we had a nice chat.

I'm not sure what it means that I saw and picked up hitchhikers twice in one day on a street that I have gone up and down 7 times a day for 8 1/2 years and never seen a hitchhiker on. Maybe I'm becoming more like my dad, who has given countless numbers a lift in his lifetime. Maybe I've been in my car a little too much lately and I'm losing my "defensive driver" caution. Maybe I was given an opportunity to be kind to some folks who could use a little kindness.

Whatever the meaning, it made for an interesting day.

Jenna's First Date

2011-02-20T06:31:00.000-08:00

Jenna went on her first date last night.

When she turned 16 at the beginning of the month, there were no date possibilities on the horizon that we were aware of, so we were delighted when the handsome man at left asked her to the Sweetheart's Dance a week later....with a candy bar poster...it was so cute...and delicious.

The next weekend, she answered him by taping balloons all over his truck with the message "Since you popped the question, pop these to find the answer." And we shopped for a dress, super fun, and found this gorgeous one (her shoes are red!)

The big date was last night and I was so impressed with her date (Jacob) who was polite and kind and responsible (just what every mother is looking for in her daughter's first date). Jenna was so stunningly beautiful that it overwhelmed me and after they left, I had to cry a little -- happy tears.

The date was a success! In Jenna's words, "Holy cow. Best night ever. Victoria is amazing, my dress is amazing and my date was the best man ever!!! How much more awesome can my life take????"

I hope much more awesome, Jenna -- you deserve it. Love you!

Adam and Eve

2011-02-17T19:04:00.001-08:00

I was driving Katie and Alissa to school yesterday morning when this question came from Katie who was in the back seat putting on her shoes.

"Mom, what would have happened if Adam and Eve had never left the Garden of Eden?"

"Well....they wouldn't have had any kids."

"That stinks."

"Yep."

Gotta wonder what's running through their heads!

Filled with Irish

2011-02-10T16:33:00.000-08:00

Katie had her third Irish feis ever last weekend. She has been Irish dancing for a year and a half now and is loving it more and more. This time, she competed in 5 different events and placed 1st in two of them and 3rd in the other two. She was delighted!

I took her to an Irish dance performance a couple of weeks ago and she was dancing in her seat and in the aisles at intermission. She told me, "Mom, when I see this, the Irish just fills up in me!"

The Best Calling Ever

2011-02-05T14:39:00.000-08:00

For two weeks now, I have been at the local Missionary Training Center acting as an investigator for the new missionaries to practice their teaching skills on. I'm an official service missionary with a 1-year call. I had to make up my own profile: my name, personal situation, and why I'm willing to listen to the missionaries. Some people get really dramatic and create a totally fictional character, but I decided to go more reality-based (I'm no good at making up details on the spot). Here's what mine says:

Kris is a married mother of 5 children. She works from home creating websites for companies. She believes in God, but is confused about the specifics of how He works. Kris's mom recently died from cancer. One of the nurses caring for her mom was Mormon and told Kris about her belief in life after death.

The very first session I did, I was a member missionary with an older couple acting as the investigators. I was their neighbor who has tried to talk to them about the Church for many years. The missionaries who came in were brand new - only at the MTC about 5 days. They were so nervous. They kept trying to get the other to do the talking by saying, "Do you have anything to add, Elder?" At one point, one of them was explaining a concept and his voice got quieter and quieter until he just stopped in the middle of his sentence and put his head down. I felt so bad for him! One of the other investigators told me that she had another set of elders who tried the "Do you have anything to add" technique and finally, one of the elders just said, "Nope!" Hilarious! One of the investigators told me that the first visit is a big wake-up call for some missionaries.

They try to schedule it so that the missionaries see the same investigator for two visits in a row. This is more like what it will be like on their missions and it gives them an opportunity to prepare and pray for investigators as they teach a follow-up lesson.

In another session, I acted as the investigator daughter of a senior couple who had already had one meeting with the missionaries. When they came this time, they were set to teach about the Word of Wisdom. We had a lively discussion about the merits of coffee and tea and wine and why we should or should not drink these things. The elders were so good! They laughed with us and taught us and challenged us and (most importantly in my opinion) testified to us of the truthfulness of the principles they were teaching. At the end of the lesson, we all committed to give up our coffee and go to church.

I also went in as a member with a college-aged investigator whose profile was that she was on the volleyball team at BYU and her teammates had gotten her interested in learning more about the Church. A big personal thrill for me was when the elders referred to me as her "roommate"; yahoo for the 40-year-old!

I've been there 7 days so far averaging 2-3 hours each day and been taught by a multitude of elders, two senior missionary couples, a set of sisters, and two trios of missionaries. I've been both a member missionary and an investigator and I definitely like being an investigator the most. I've learned that it is a real privilege to be an investigator; people love this calling. Most of the folks who come have been doing it for years. They love is so much that they extend their service missions far beyond the one year. The MTC also accepts volunteers and many just keep coming and coming. One lady I've been with twice has been coming for 8 years! When my bishop asked me if I would be willing to serve, he made me promise that I would come back to the ward. In his words, "People get this calling and they don't want to leave!" I can sure understand why.

Two of the neatest experiences so far happened with a trio of missionaries and then with a senior couple. The trio first: we have these rooms set up like living rooms, so you wait in them and the missionaries knock on the door like it's your house (there is a video camera recording the missionaries so their trainers can give them feedback afterwards). I could hear the three of them outside the door rallying their courage: "Are you ready?" "Yes, I'm ready." "Do we have everything we need?" "You've got the scriptures?" "Yep, I've got them." "Let's take these pamphlets in, too." "Okay." "Ready?" "Ready." [big gulp of air and huge exhalation] "Here we go." KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. I had to chuckle just before I answered the door. :) [Note: I would have to do the same thing and then some if I was going door-to-door to meet with strangers. Takes a lot of courage!]

I let them in and we proceeded to get acquainted. These three were really good at carrying on a conversation, asking questions about me and being genuinely interested in my answers. They shared some background on themselves and why they were here and I felt a good spirit from all three of them. They taught me about the love of God as the Father of His children and about Christ and about where we go after we die and the importance of prophets and priesthood authority. They were so sincere in their testifying to the truthfulness of what they taught that I found myself teary several times. They taught for about 40 minutes, transitioning well from one person to the next so that they all taught and bore witness - it was a completely uplifting experience. When I shut the door after they left, I heard one of them say, "Yes!" They deserved it! These men are ready to be missionaries!

The senior couple I met with were just a gem. They came in full of love for me and for the message that they brought. They got to know me and my situation and shared about themselves: from Canada with 12 children of their own and 3 adopted - 15 in all! Their lesson focused on families and our love for our family and how that translates into God's love for His family. We talked about Christ and the atonement and the plan that God has for our lives. They also taught about how God talks to us and answers prayers and what those witnesses from the Holy Ghost are like. At the end, they said the most beautiful prayer for me and after I closed the door behind them as they left, I sat on the couch and just cried because the good feelings of the Spirit and the love of God and this couple were so strong.

I had a knock on the door right after and they had left their coats in the room! We aren't supposed to go out of character with the missionaries, but the couple came in and started talking with me, so I got to learn a little more about their mission. He is a physician and they are going on a medical mission to the Philippines. They'll be taking care of the missionaries, so they don't have to learn Filipino, but they want to learn some so that they can be prepared if the occasion arises. The elder said something so sweet to me, he said, "You were a golden contact! You can try to pretend you're not a member, but you can't hide the spirit that emanates from you." I thought that was cool, but I also thought, "Maybe I should be giving these missionaries more of a hard time." When I was trained, though, they told us to be golden contacts, so I guess I'll just keep going the way I am.

The biggest thing I have learned from this for when I serve a full-time mission is that I need to be ready to teach. This means knowing the scriptures and understanding the doctrine to such an extent that explaining it comes easily. The best missionaries so far have been the ones that "know their stuff" and can easily find scriptures that teach the principles. Second thing, for me at least, is that it really matters to me that the missionaries know that what they are teaching is true. I want to know what they think about this principle, how they feel about it, how they came to know it was true. Testifying - that's what I wait for them to do.

See why I call it the Best Calling Ever?

Happy 16th Sweet Jenna

2011-02-01T05:38:00.000-08:00

Today my Jenna is 16 years old. We have been celebrating this for a few days now: a breakfast "kidnapping" by her friends on Saturday, early presents on Sunday so she'd have something cute to wear to church, talking about driving and dating and what it means to be 16.

Just so you know, Jenna is one of the most stellar people I know. We were discussing her awesomeness in the car yesterday.

"You are so awesome, Jenna. I like you so much."

"Mom, you have to like me."

"No, I have to love you, and I always love you, but sometimes kids aren't very likable and parents put up with it because of the love. But you, I have always liked you. You've been likable your whole life."

[Smile]. "Thanks, Mom."

Some of the things that are awesome about Jenna:

she loves to read and she reads FAST and she remembers everything she's read
she is so smart - like super smart
she is easygoing and happy
she is fun to be around
she connects with people and accepts them for who they are
she knows what's important in life and doesn't get distracted by the weird stuff
she is gorgeous
she is genuinely kind
she plays basketball and is tall

When Jenna was a baby, I was in her room talking on the phone while Jenna played. At one point, she crawled into my lap, curled up and fell asleep. I told my friend about this, and she said, "You are the luckiest Mom to have that little girl."

It's true.

I love you, Jenna! Happy birthday!

A Poem

2011-01-27T12:58:00.000-08:00

Kellie wrote a poem that was chosen to be published by Creative Communication. I thought I'd include it here:

Nighttime Hours

The cool night breeze,

blowing the once illuminated leaves across the sky.

Each blade of grass flows evenly through the meadow.

A cold shiver runs down my spine,

the sweet smell of rain fills my nose.

A drop, and then one more,

the rain sprinkles, filling my mind with memories.

Then it stops, clearing my thoughts once more.

A distant clock dings, ten o-clock.

A flow of darkness closes in as the street light goes off.

I look up, the luminous moon is a light in my darkness.

Radiant stars guide me home to a quiet house and warm bed.

Tiny crickets chirp a simple melody.

I slowly drift to sleep,

there I lay waiting for nighttime hours to start again.

A Great Dad

2011-01-22T09:08:00.000-08:00

David has been working with Jenna on her post moves in basketball - a lot. She goes to practice for 2 1/2 hours every day and then he goes down and works with her one-on-one for another hour after that.

At her last game, she got the ball, did a beautiful post move, made the basket and was fouled. As she walked to the free throw line, she looked right up at her dad in the stands and pointed to him with a huge grin. I looked at him and he was beaming back at her, then he said to me, "We practiced that move over and over."

It was the coolest moment. I was so proud of her for executing what she'd practiced and for inviting her dad to share in the joy.

Oh, and she made the free throw, too.

Braces Buddies

2011-01-19T12:00:00.000-08:00

Kellie, Alissa, and I are officially "Braces Buddies" - a distinction the girls thought up when we put our teeth in prison a couple of days ago. It hurts. It really hurts. We are all on a voluntary liquid diet because our mouths are so sore - I've lost 2 lbs.!

Our orthodontist called this morning to see if we were still his friends. Not yet, but maybe someday.

Saying Yes

2011-01-11T07:16:00.000-08:00

My bishop called me in and said, "So your husband tells me that you have a little extra time on your hands." (Thank you, dear.)

"Well, yes, that is true."

"We need someone to serve at the MTC as an investigator for the missionaries to practice on. It would be 8 hours a week. Is that something you could do?"

[Pause while I decide if I'm ready to take this on.] "Yes."

Oh, and we also wondered if you would be willing to be the Girls Camp Director. Don't you have two girls going to camp this year?"

"Three actually."

"Are you willing to do that?"

[Another pause while I consider this one because I know what I'm getting into, having done it before.] "Yes."

I knew at the moment I was saying it that these "yes's" were big for me. I have been saying "no" to many things lately because I just didn't have it in me. My well was dry. I needed time to fill it up. I am happy to report that the well has been getting fuller.

I get to be busy again, with good things that keep me close to my family.

Happy. :)

New

2011-01-02T08:36:00.000-08:00

I purchased new bedding. I love it! I seriously sleep better under it. I've spent the last two days finding new drapery and new shower curtains and new rugs. I was thinking this morning about new: new year, new resolutions, new life. There's just something about new...I think that's why one of the most popular air fresheners is "new car smell."

I like the idea of starting with something fresh, something that hasn't been used up, damaged, altered, marred. Our first house as a married couple was new. We were the first to live there, the first to paint walls and hang pictures and make memories. When I dream, I am in that first house (trying to figure out how to make my whole family fit - it was a small home!)

I love the early morning because it is the start of a new day. I am usually the first in my house to greet it and I relish the quiet and beauty of the sun coming through the windows and the peaceful sleep of my family and knowing that I have hours in front of me to accomplish whatever I have to do.

I am thinking that I need to make a plan for the new year. With the loss of my mom, it is even more apparent to me that I want to live life deliberately. To take what is new and work it into something meaningful.

Finding Family on Facebook

2010-12-28T06:21:00.000-08:00

In October of 2010, I got the idea to make a list of all the descendants of my great-grandparents Michael and Xenia Greshko. These are the folks who immigrated to the U.S. around 1902 from Galicia, Austria and settled in Pennsylvania. They had 10 children, my grandpa Bill Gresko was their 7th, and I'd always been vastly curious about them and the whole family.

All genealogists say to "start with what you know," so I began by laying out the family tree with the 10 kids and their spouses. Then I wrote down my own aunts and uncles and cousins since I am in contact with most of them. That was a pretty big group! My grandpa's descendants have been very proliferative. I also knew the daughter of my grandpa's sister (Joyce), so I got her address from my cousin, looked up her phone # with the online directory, and gave her a call. She was a delight, making me laugh with stories of her life in New Jersey. She was able to give me the info on her own family, that two of the Greshko siblings had not had any children, and the address of another of my grandpa's sister's sons. I sent this cousin a letter.

Lacking the patience to sit and wait, I began randomly searching names of relatives on Google, Dex directory, and of course, Facebook. My first success came with my cousin Andy Greshko. Somewhere in my mind, I'd stored that my first cousin, Michelle, had met one of our Greshko relations when she lived in Georgia. I even remembered that her name was Cheryl, so I began searching for "Cheryl Gresko or Greshko" on Facebook. I found a Cherie Greshko living in Georgia and sent her a message asking if she could be related. I also checked her friend list and saw that she was friends with an Andy Greshko, which is the name of the youngest Greshko child. I sent him a friend request, too.

Andy was the first to respond with this message: "Howdy from your Eastern cousins!"

Cherie quickly jumped on once she saw Andy and I were friends and I had a joyous couple of days sharing info back and forth. Their dad died very young and they didn't know much about the rest of the family, so they were eager to learn more. It was especially fun to me to learn that Andy has a daughter who looks exactly like our Aunt Alice! I told them about my search and they filled me in on their immediate family and were able to give some clues about others.

My next success came with an email from the cousin I'd sent the letter to: Jason Carriere. Jason told me he'd "google searched" me after receiving my letter and learned all about me from my blog! He and his wife were willing to get to know the rest of the family and to help with my quest. I asked them if they were on Facebook (they were) and they quickly accepted my friend requests. It was wonderful to see pictures of their kids and to learn their likes and interests so easily. I encouraged them to take a look at my profile, too. Jason was able to help me locate his only other Greshko first cousin (on Myspace) and to fill in the rest of his family. He and his wife are funny and smart and have two beautiful kids and we're all hoping to meet in person soon!

By this time, December was quickly approaching and I was preparing my Christmas cards. I also started making the descendancy list document that I hoped to send to everyone. I "friend requested" all of the cousins and sent messages asking for their mailing address. Everyone responded - it was amazing!

It was now the first week of December, and I had found all the family except for that of my grandpa's older brother Pete. I had the names and birthdays of his 5 children. The only lead I had was a letter from his daughter Carol to my grandparents written 12 years earlier which located her in Bullhead City, AZ. I sent a letter to the address on the envelope, but ...nothing. I contacted my dad's sister, Myrna, who is also a genealogist, and she told me that Carol was near her daughter and her kids in Apache Junction, AZ. Repeatedly searched sites all over the internet, again, with no luck.

One day on Facebook, I was randomly searching for the 5 names of the kids (again) when I found a "Peter Michael Gresko" whose age matched the age of the son. I sent him a friend request explaining who I was and asking if we were related. He also had a "Carol Gresko" among his friends, so I sent her a message, too. After two anxious days of waiting, Pete accepted my friend request. Once he did, Carol quickly responded and sent me a message. "I saw that you are friends with my brother Pete and that you have Gresko in your name. Are we related?" "YES! I think we are!" I replied.

Over the next few days with Carol's help, I was filled in on a whole line of family that I had known nothing about: 30+ descendants. Many of them were on Facebook and quickly accepted my friend requests. I finished the descendancy chart, printed it out, and sent it along with my own Christmas letter to 33 Greshko families. Over the last month, I have received Christmas cards back from many of these relations, often with a note thanking me for the chart and for finding them. I was tickled to receive a photo of my cousin Jason and his family and to see that he has the same dark, curly Gresko hair that my dad and Grandpa have! Several of the families have twins (which runs in the family) and so many of the boys have the classic Gresko "look" - very handsome men!

Thinking back on this whole process, it is just amazing to realize how quickly I found everyone, especially in genealogy timelines. In less than two months, I found over 50 people that I had known nothing about and was able to contact them and receive replies back. I've seen pictures of them, learned about their interests and families, and been able to establish a connection that I plan to nurture in the coming years. I am so grateful for the men in the family who were the first to respond to my friend requests, and the women who saw those friendships and quickly jumped on board to give information. How blessed I have been by this whole experience!

I spent Christmas with my dad and while we were there, I signed him up for Facebook. "It was the men who responded first, Dad. You've got to be on there so that we can find our family."

He happily agreed.

In Memory of the Provo Tabernacle

2010-12-20T05:44:00.000-08:00

Early on the morning of my 40th birthday, the Provo Tabernacle caught fire. The irony of it was that just shortly after learning this, I received a cello for my birthday -- a wish that first began in the Provo Tabernacle.

Over a decade ago, I was sitting in the Tabernacle listening to a concert by the Utah Valley Orchestra. There was a flier advertising an orchestra for people over 40. You had to be new at your instrument and you had to be over 40. I thought how much I wanted to learn to play the cello, but I was in the midst of having kids and raising a young family and so I decided, "When I turn 40, I am going to learn to play the cello and join this orchestra." In the years since, I have held onto that goal, and as my 40th approached, I made it very clear that for this birthday, I wanted a cello. In my mind, I could see myself on the raised platform in the Provo Tabernacle playing with the orchestra.

So it was the ultimate irony to receive that long-awaited cello at the same moment that the source of that dream was going up in flames. This year of 2010 seems determined to demonstrate the law of opposition for me. Did you know that my mom passed away on my 20th wedding anniversary?

The Tabernacle has been a place of important happenings for me: the aforementioned orchestra concert, our family's first Meridian Vespers Christmas performance, multiple stake conferences, a Messiah Sing-along, and most recently, my son's high school graduation. It was a place where significant things happened: events that celebrated accomplishments and evoked the Spirit of God and caused me to pause in the daily grind of life to celebrate that which is better. I was able to play the organ in the Tabernacle; an intimidating yet heady experience.

I think it is appropriate that last night at the memorial concert for the Tabernacle that I could not stop the tears from flowing. It may have been just a building, but it was also the place of some of my most tender memories. I will mourn its loss and rejoice in the experiences there that meant so much to me.

Read the story of the concert last night

The Forgotten Carols

2010-12-12T07:38:00.002-08:00

We went to see Michael McLean's "Forgotten Carols" last weekend. It has been probably 18 years since David and I saw it as a young married couple. I remember we loved it, but that doesn't come close to describing the experience we had on Saturday. It might be that we are a little older, that we have experienced more of life and love and loss. From the first song, I was completely immersed in the Spirit of the Lord. It was confirmed overand over to me...Jesus Christ is real, His story is true. He loves you, believe in Him, follow Him, serve Him.

Our daughters were enthralled, and have been listening to the songs on the CD over and over since. If you haven't seen it, go. Do whatever you have to to have this experience.

Merry Christmas!

Another one down

2010-12-11T06:25:00.001-08:00

I turned down a job offer yesterday.

This is the second one since Meridian closed suddenly in August and I found myself unemployed and my kids without a school. The first was a nursing job that I was seriously considering and even took steps towards, but then my mom passed away and when I came back from Arizona, the job just didn't seem like the right thing to do.

I am at home....which causes mouths to gape open in disbelief when I explain that's what I'm doing now. Maybe it's the frenetic, whirlwind pace I kept working fulltime at Meridian the last 6 years that explains the reaction. Or the passion with which I worked. I was so committed to Meridian and the things I (and all of us) were doing there that maybe people thought it was the job.

It was really about my kids. I would do whatever it takes to help my kids, and my kids needed Meridian and that meant I needed to work, so I learned the skills I needed to learn and did the things that needed to be done so that my kids could be there. And it was wonderful.

But now my kids need me at home. They need me to drive them to school in the morning and pick them up after. They need me to volunteer as the reading group leader and play the flute in the Christmas program and do the girls' hair for the ballroom dance concert and cheer at every basketball game. And I want to be there.

When I got home, I told David about the experience. I said, "What I am is a professional mom. My family is what I'm passionate about and where I want to invest my time and talents and energy. And I only have 10 more years to raise my kids and I don't want to miss anything."

He totally understood and supported me. (Bless him!)

So I'm home. And completely happy.

Ticket Update

2010-12-03T16:59:00.001-08:00

So...I made the trade.

My good husband offered to take daughter #4 on a Daddy/Daughter date while the other three and I attended the MoTab/David Archuleta concert.

As he put it, "I think I would have more fun going on a date with my daughter than listening to David Archuleta sing." That sealed it and I made the trade. My tickets are now on their way to Kaysville & the new tickets will be arriving at my house on Sunday.

Thanks for your advice!

The Saga of the MoTab/David Archuleta Tickets

2010-12-03T06:36:00.000-08:00

I was one of the millions of people who did NOT receive tickets to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir with David Archuleta Christmas Concert. I was pretty disappointed, so you can imagine my delight when a few days after the announcement, I received a card from my sister wishing me a happy birthday (my birthday is Dec. 17) and containing 4 tickets to the concert!

Enter the problem: the tickets were for Dec. 16 and daughter #2 has her ballroom dance concert that night. What to do? Maybe I could trade for another night? I posted my dilemma on Facebook and offered to trade my 4 tickets for another night. No takers.

Not ready to give up, I posed the same offer to the sisters in my ward during Relief Society. MANY were willing to take the tickets off my hands, but no one had received any themselves. One person suggested I try posting my trade on ksl.com - so I did.

By this time, daughter #1 had made the basketball team and had a game on Dec. 17, husband had meetings Dec. 19 morning, so my only available trade night was Dec. 18. I put that stipulation in my offer (Thursday for Saturday) but received only offers for Friday, Sunday morning & of course, "we'd be happy to use those tickets in your place." I also noticed quite a few offers to buy the tickets, but was focused on the trade.

Two weeks passed without success and I was beginning to contemplate other options: 1) skip daughter #2's concert & take some of my family on Thursday, 2) skip daughter #1's game & take some of family on Friday, 3) skip church & leave husband & one daughter at home and go to Sunday morning's concert, 4) sell? This was a bit of a dilemma for me because the tickets were free to begin with and it seemed a little off to get money for them. However, the tickets were also my birthday gift, and if I sold them, I could use the money to buy tickets to a different performance for my whole family. I really want to go to a performance and I really want all my kids & husband to come.

Yesterday, I received another offer from someone to take my tickets if I couldn't find a trade. I replied and asked if they would be willing to pay for the tickets. They replied back, " No thanks. You got the tickets for free and are not meant to be sold." I was a little miffed - it is no fun to be scolded, especially not by a stranger. I then checked KSL and Hurray! found a trade for Saturday. Within moments, I also got an email from someone offering $25/ticket.

Dilemma: do I make the trade and take 4 of my family on Saturday (leaving 2 at home)? or do I sell the tickets and go to a different show with everyone?

Black Friday

2010-11-26T04:48:00.000-08:00

This morning I arose at the early (even for me) hour of 4:30 and headed off into the night to get a bargain on a Christmas gift.

Normally I shun this ritual - only once before have I partaken, and that was only to see what all the hubbub was about. I was completely unimpressed and have not ventured out again.

But this was a really good deal, and my husband said, "You'll do it, right?" So there I was at Walmart standing in a line with a MILLION other people. When I pulled into the parking lot, my stomach began churning when I saw that it was completely full. As I walked in to the store, I learned that some people had been there since midnight. Apparently my noble effort of arising at 4:30 am was child's play compared to these hard core shoppers.

At 5am, they began distributing the item I desired and at 5:04, I was faced with the ugly reality that I was the very first person NOT to get this item as they were all gone (supplies limited, you know?).

I stared in disbelief for a moment and then returned to my car. The radio announcer suggested some online shopping rather than facing the Black Friday crowds.

What a stellar idea.

On Salad...and other things

2010-11-23T05:48:00.001-08:00

"Mom, you haven't posted since Halloween," said my daughter Kellie. "Yes, I did - I posted this month, see?" "But it was about Halloween, and now it's Thanksgiving, you need to post." "Okay, I'll do it." But it's hard to write a post when you don't know what to write about. Yesterday, it hit me. Post about salad. Yes, salad.

You see, I had a salad yesterday for lunch. A salad I made myself with my own hands. And even I was struck by the irony of the moment because for at least half of my life, I hated salad and refused to eat it.

I think it all began when I was a young girl and my job every night for dinner was to make the salad (and grate the cheese, but that is another story). I detested making the salad, number one reason: I knew I wasn't going to eat it. Why should I always have to make the one thing in the meal that I wasn't going to consume? But my mom persisted and the salad I did make.

As I entered my teens, and all my friends were eating salad because it was healthy and helped you be thin, I smugly consumed my powdered, jelly-filled donuts. Did I mention that I really hated salad?

As an adult, I flirted off and on with the salad consumption. All my friends would talk about this or that delicious salad they had made or bought at Wendy's and I thought, "Maybe this will be the salad I will like," so I'd try it. Inevitably, I would be disappointed. Salad just does not taste like donuts. But I was also having babies and worrying more about my health and I knew I needed to improve my veggie intake, so I'd force some bites down and pat myself on the back for the effort.

Oh, there are some "salads" I enjoy, but can you really call the salad at Cafe Rio a salad? Come on - it's mostly tortilla, rice, beans, meat, & cheese with a big hunk of lettuce stacked on top. I don't think that counts - but it is tasty and I have used it as a salad when necessary to appease my conscience.

This fall, I got serious about the lose weight/be healthy thing and went on the HCG diet. One of the great things (besides the weight loss) is that it cleanses the palette. This is a fancy way of saying that I was completely sugar overloaded and so natural food just didn't taste good to me. After two months of no sugar, I was pleased to find that fruits really were sweet...and yummy. And I also learned that I felt a lot better if I ate some veggies every day; hence, the salad for lunch. I still have to force myself to eat it (and a little cheese and egg on it help a lot), but I'm actually choosing on my own to make and eat salad.

And that is my post about salad...and other things.

If you want to know about the HCG diet, I highly recommend my dietician sister-in-law Becky who helped my hubby and me lose a total of 45 lbs. in two months. We look and feel fabulous! And we eat salad.

You go, girl

2010-11-02T05:36:00.000-07:00

Right in the middle of cleaning my house today, I was suddenly struck with a longing for my Katie. She's only been off to school for a few hours, but I missed her.

She is my baby, but not really, because being the youngest, she is constantly striving to catch up to where the others are at. Only occasionally will she climb into my arms and let me snuggle her.

Katie is full of little "Katie-isms" that keep my chuckling. I do love to laugh, especially with my kids. Yesterday, we went to the dollar store to get a gift for a party and Katie used her tooth fairy money to buy a small tub of Noisy Putty. When we got in the car, she gave it a good squeeze and it let out a sound just like a fart. She laughed her head off.

In church, she was mad at Jenna for something and they were writing back and forth to each other about it. Jenna made a point which Katie had to concede to and she wrote "well (sigh)"...yes, she wrote the sigh in.

For Halloween, she wanted to be something scary. Originally, it was a vampire witch. I was hoping for a fairy. Then she moved to a chocolate chip cookie. Couldn't figure that one out. We settled on Astrid from How To Train Your Dragon, which ended up being perfect. She is spunky and sassy and gets to be tough and girlie at the same time. Her favorite parts of her costume: the double-bladed axe and the headband.

That's my girl.

Letters

2010-10-25T17:41:00.000-07:00

Today I wrote about the last week of my mom's life.

I had lived through it, and talked about it with people, but I hadn't written it down and something kept telling me, "Write it down or you'll forget something." So I did. I typed for four pages--single space--and I cried some. But it was done. Then I printed it out and I folded it up and put it in an envelope.

I told my dad that I did this.

"What are you going to do with it?" he asked.

"I put it in my 'Mom's funeral bag'," I replied. That is a bag I received with some goodies in it from a friend and I put all the cards and notes and letters I got from people about my mom in it and then I put in the pictures that I printed out from the funeral, and now it holds the story of the last week.

Oh, and a letter I wrote to Stephenie Meyer, the author of the Twilight books. You see, she helped my mom, too, only she didn't know it and I thought she should.

So I wrote to her, too, and printed a copy to mail and a copy for me. To put in the bag.

So I will always remember.

Spirit of Elijah

2010-10-16T06:39:00.000-07:00

I have been bit by the geneaology bug...bad.

It got me for the first time last summer. I spent weeks and weeks sorting through info from my grandmas and organizing it in my new computer program and then I joined ancestry.com and found two different family lines previously unknown that went back 4 generations. It was incredible.

Then, it was time for school to start and I had to set it all aside.

These past weeks, the symptoms hit again and I have been at it with vengeance. I even looked into getting a second bachelor's degree in Family History. Can you believe BYU won't let you get two bachelor's degrees? Bummer.

I have always suspected I'd be a family history junkie. I love to organize and put things in their proper order; and I LOVE my family. But it was never the right season of life, you know? I was having babies and working full-time and I just couldn't give it what it needed. But I thought it might be something I could get into. I was right. I cannot get enough.

This past week I am sorting through the Bass and Hogg families. I can still hear my Nana's voice talking to me about them and telling me she just couldn't get them straightened out and that I would have to do it.

Nana, I am happy to do so.

Passing

2010-10-05T04:54:00.000-07:00

My mom passed away last week.

Often, it seems surreal. Could this have happened to me? to my family? to my mom?

My mind keeps fixing on certain moments: her hand clasping mine so tightly in the ER just days before she died. Her last breaths when all I could do was kneel by her side and sob and say "Mom" over and over. How she looked reclining in the front seat of my car while we looked at the fall leaves in Provo Canyon and felt the cool breeze.

People ask me how it was. Hard.

People ask me how I am. OK.

The law of opposition is so at work here. It is good that she is no longer suffering. It is sad that we can't see her anymore. I am glad to be home and caring for my children. I worry about my dad and wish I was there to help him.

Last night, we read the letters my mom had written to each of us. They were all so personal and so filled with love. I told my kids, "I know that Grandma still lives, because this much love doesn't just go away."

A New Life

2010-09-02T20:48:00.000-07:00

I hardly recognize the life we have lived the last two weeks...it is so different from the past 7 years.

For the girls, it is three different schools and three different schedules. The biggest challenge so far: the sheer size. All of them have said, "There are so many people!" Jenna had us rolling at the dinner table as she described trying to navigate in the halls between classes where you "turn to the right and your backpack knocks into someone else's backpack which hits someone else's backpack. Your best move is to put your friend in front of you and just push them through the crowds."

Kellie likes her ballroom and yearbook classes, LOVES the cafeteria (but not the long lines), and is not too fond of her science teacher. She also almost missed the bus today, prompting her to decide to get up 30 minutes earlier than usual.

Alissa has been quickly making friends and has decided to play the cello. Today after school, she came walking out with a friend and as they parted, they gave each other a quick hug. Ahhh....I think she's doing well.

Katie has become the queen of the tetherball, along with Sonny, the king of tetherball. According to Katie, "We beat everybody!"

And me? I get up at 6:45 and spend the next hour and a half helping girls get ready for school and driving them down the hill. Then I go running. Then it's some housework and errands--my house hasn't been this consistently clean since we moved in. Today I helped Josh pack up his stuff to go to college. (sniffle) Starting at 1:30, I pick up girls from school and transport them home and to various activities and then it's dinner and homework. It is so different.

David and I have been encouraging the girls to make new friends. Alissa and Katie have had an easier time with it than the older girls. Today, Jenna said, "Mom, you're going to be proud of me in the friend department."

"Tell me," I said.

"In my mixed choir class, most of the people transferred in with a friend who they sit by. All of us who didn't just sit alone. Today I was sitting alone and saw someone else sitting alone and I got up and went over and sat by her and introduced myself."

"Jenna, I'm so proud of you!"

"Wait, it gets better. Right after I did that, a guy who had been sitting by himself got up and went and sat by another guy who was alone. I set a good example!"

I think we're going to be okay.

(In the picture, Jenna is running in her first cross country meet at her new school.)

Endings

2010-08-20T07:31:00.000-07:00

When I was in nursing school, I got my first job as an LPN on a medical/oncology floor. It was the only job available and I was desperate for money. Like most nursing students, I wanted to go into obstetrics or pediatrics. Nobody says, "I want to work with the elderly and cancer patients."

But when I finished school, they wanted to hire me as an RN. I liked the challenge of the floor and the hours they were willing to give me, so I stayed, and guess what I found out? I have a talent for helping when it's time for things to end.

It's not a skill that you list on the your child's school information sheet when they ask you what talents you can share with the class. But it's invaluable when your neighbor who's caring for her terminal daughter calls you and says that something has "changed" and could you please come over and you get there and have to say, "Yes, she's close" and she passes away that night. People need someone at times like that who handle the hard things, and I can handle the hard things.

I'm finding my skill in much use these days as two essentials in my life are ending. The first isn't a person, but a place: Meridian School. I love this school. For the last 7 years, I have given my life to this school. And it is over. In the final moments, I had to say, "Stop trying to save it. It will not be what it should be. Let it go with dignity." I cannot tell you what it cost me to say that. I had to be strong and it was hard.

In the near future, this experience will be repeated with my mom, who I love more than I can express. I am grateful that I can be strong for her, can help as things come to an end; grateful that God gave me the skills to do so. I hope that she can pass with dignity and peace and that I can be there to help her.

It is difficult for me to talk about these things--my mom and the school--they are sacred to me because I have given so much of myself to them. I pray that God will increase my talent, increase my strength, that I might be able to do what must be done.

My mom and dad with Josh at his graduation from Meridian School in May.

Crying

2010-07-18T20:41:00.000-07:00

A friend stopped me after church today to ask me how I was doing.

I started crying and said, "I want my mom!"

Now that the end is near, I find my desires becoming more and more childlike. How do you live without your mother?

My mom has been crying a lot lately. I have been crying, too. I feel....sad.

She wants to stay here with us, and we want her to stay, but that is not one of the options anymore.

Sob.

Summer

2010-07-01T06:58:00.000-07:00

One month of summer is gone and I'm already feeling like it's rushing by.

I work like a whirlwind during the school year, so I've come to rely on the summer as a time to rest and refuel and do all the things that I have to put off the rest of the year because I'm too tired and I just can't do everything.

In this month, I've...

caught up on my scrapbooking. Yes, I did. All six books current and cute (if I do say so myself). We couldn't eat at the table for 2 weeks while I worked, but it was worth it.

cleaned my house. In the summer, my house is clean. Everyone does their jobs and I do more and it's so orderly that I never want to leave.

read and read and read. I've been through so many books already that I can hardly remember what I've read. I'm actually a little tired of reading at this point - I need a break. :)

put my house back together. Our remodel that began the first of May still lingers. I've painted the bathrooms and hung mirrors and had the carpets cleaned (so much furniture moving) - I even cleaned out David's office. The last things left are putting baseboards back and painting one more bathroom.

It is good. It is satisfying. Bless the summers for allowing me to just stay home. I'm always tempted during the summer to just quit working and stay home forever...but I know I'd soon grow tired of it and wish for something new. I need change.

So I'll just enjoy the moment and the joy of summer.

Making Plans

2010-06-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

I am a planner.

I find it essential to my well-being and productivity to think ahead and plan what I (and my family) will be doing. Consequently, I have a very well-used planner that I always have with me that has writing on every single page (I prefer the old pen-and-paper method; it's just more satisfying to me than the electronic gadgets).

Today, my mom and I made plans.

What do you want to do as you get sicker? Be home with hospice or in the hospital?
Answer: Home with hospice.

Do you want family around as you get sicker?
Answer: I want my family to come and be with me, but I don't want anyone to do anything that makes them uncomfortable or afraid.

What do you want for your funeral?
Answer: I just want a graveside service, but I don't want everyone to be out in the heat (in Arizona). Just keep it simple.

What do you want for a casket/burial?
Answer: Don't spend a lot of money on it. It's just going in the ground. I'm not real particular about what city I'm buried in, just so long as your dad and I can be buried together.

These were hard plans to make because making them meant facing painful realities. We cried a lot...and after a bit, decided to talk about something else.

I'm glad we made plans. I'm glad I know what she wants and that she had the chance to tell me. I'm glad that we could cry together and plan for a future that isn't what we would choose, but one that we can face because we thought about it and talked about it and planned for it.

I think planning will give me strength for what is ahead.

My mom and I in 1974.

Cancer and Faith

2010-06-09T18:36:00.000-07:00

There was once a woman with cancer. The cancer grew undetected until it weakened the woman, but once discovered, it was fought with courage and knowledge and most of all, faith. The cancer flowed at times, and ebbed at others, but at last, it seeped into new spaces with a speed that overwhelmed and frightened and pained the woman and those who loved her.

So, together, they clasp hands and pray and hope and love and look to God who is "aware of your sufferings and enfolding you in His arms."

A Joyful Graduation

2010-05-30T05:13:00.000-07:00

Well, it happened.

My oldest child graduated from high school.

I don't think it has hit me because I didn't shed a single tear at the ceremony. A couple of people asked me how I was doing and if I was okay and honestly, I was doing great! I was happy for Josh and all the other kids, many I've known since 3rd grade. It was a cool ceremony - I wasn't even bored at all and usually, there is at least one speaker where I'm thinking, "Did we really need this one?"

I am excited for Josh and his future. I know he's ready to take the next step and move on with his life. And I don't have any regrets from his high school years because we went to everything that we possibly could: basketball games, soccer games, baseball games, drama productions, heck, I even went to his prom with a raging fever this year just so I could see the kids all dressed up (well worth it; I highly recommend it).

Maybe that's why there's been no tears. I know that he lived these past four years as fully as possible, and I was a part of that as fully as possible, and I feel satisfied and content. Like I've eaten a really good meal, just enough, not too much, and every bite was delectable.

I also know that this boy, my boy, will always be a part of my life.

So, no tears, just joy for all he's accomplished and for all his possibilities.

Josh at age 8 and ten years later at (almost) 18.

Payback

2010-05-24T10:00:00.000-07:00

Josh graduated from seminary yesterday. It was such a satisfying moment, especially when I thought of all the mornings that he didn't want to go and we insisted that he go and I got tired of making him go. I admit it; there were times when I wanted to just give up the fight and let him have his way. I'm glad I didn't.

One of the speaker's joked with the kids that they were changing titles in the church. Whereas before they had been "young men" and "young women", they were now going to be (cue ominous music) "young single adults." Josh says he's okay with that.

Yesterday in Josh's church class, they asked for a volunteer to be in the hot seat. Josh volunteered. They then proceeded to ask him all kinds of questions about his future plans, like what he was going to do for college and mission and how he was going to live and support himself and a family. Our bishop told me that the leaders all expected Josh to flounder at some point, but he didn't. Josh told me it was because I had already talked to him about a lot of those issues and we'd discussed what he would do (I got a big smile there).

I think this week is going to be one of those gratifying ones where as a parent you get some good back for all the work you put in to your kids.

Yay!

The Worst Wisdom Teeth Story Ever

2010-05-19T08:37:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine took her two sons to have their wisdom teeth out last Friday.

It was a local anesthetic, they didn't put them under. I personally think you should always be put under when you have your wisdom teeth removed. Here's a good reason why:

The dentist had his tooth extractor in position to remove the oldest boy's upper left wisdom tooth when the boy coughed. This caused the dentist to jerk and shove the tooth clear up into the fatty tissue of the boy's cheek.

Really.

The dentist then spend 35 minutes trying to find the wisdom tooth. He couldn't get it.

So he left it there. Somewhere in his upper cheek.

He said that they'll leave it there for two months and hope that gravity causes it to migrate back down to his jaw where they can take it out.

If it doesn't, they may just leave it there.

Wow.

A Worker Bee

2010-05-18T07:46:00.001-07:00

When people ask me to describe myself, I say that I am a worker bee.

I get the greatest fulfillment from jumping into a task and working like a drone until it is finished. And thanks to the genetics from my Grandpa Gresko, I can work and work and work and work. When my parents lived with us, my dad and I took on the task of renovating the house and yard. My dad, who is a great worker, told me, "You can out-work me, Kris. I don't know how you keep at it for so long."

When I was in high school, I connected with the scripture in 2 Nephi that talks about "being an instrument in the hands of God." That's what I want to be, an instrument.

This morning, a friend sent me this poem and said it reminded her of me.

TO BE OF USE by Marge Piercy

The people I love the best
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element,
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half-submerged balls.

I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,
who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,
who do what has to be done, again and again.

I want to be with people who submerge
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who are not parlor generals and field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out.

The work of the world is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.
But the thing worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.
Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.
The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.

That is what I ask. Let me be of use.

Senior Sunday

2010-05-17T10:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Senior Sunday in my church.

Never heard of it? Neither had I until we moved into this house 8 years ago.

It is a fabulous tradition.

A couple of Sunday's before high school graduation, all of the seniors in the ward who are graduating are the speakers for the main meeting (sacrament). They usually get a topic from our church's "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet, like honesty, accountability, etc.

It is by far one of my favorite meetings (the other being the Sunday before Christmas when we sing carols the whole time). The kids are so excited about life and they're heading off to college or missions and the sheer potential of their lives just gets me all giddy. There is also usually a musical number by the youth that is a "put goose bumps on your skin" kind of piece.

This year was no exception. And especially poignant for me because, well, for the first time, I had a senior.

Josh's topic was education. If you know me, you know that education is a pretty important thing at our house, so I wondered how he would approach it.

Josh talked about how our whole life experience is an education. That we have the opportunity to learn formally through school, but also the responsibility to learn from all areas of our lives. He talked about the three things he had learned in high school: 1. To love other people, 2. How to work, and 3. Importance of faith.

He really spoke from the heart. It was personal. It was real. And it was by far my favorite talk (and the best, too, I think, but I might be biased).

All 9 seniors spoke, and they sang "Homeward Bound" for their song. David cried through almost the whole meeting. I smiled and beamed and was so happy.

It was a good day.

Has anyone seen my glasses?

2010-05-13T10:17:00.000-07:00

I got new glasses. Aren't they cute?

I haven't had new glasses in, like, 15 years. That's because I have always sworn I would be a contact lens person. I love contact lenses. It's almost like you're just a regular person. No one can tell they're in, there's not a circle of blur around the edge of your vision, they don't weigh heavy on your nose and around your ears. I've avoided lasik (surgery? on my eyes?) because I've had such great results from contacts.

No more.

Contacts rebelled against me last fall. I thought it was just from overuse, but as the months went by, I still couldn't put them in.

Turns out, I have almost zero liquid in my eyeballs. The doctor put this dye in that's supposed to take like 12 seconds to evaporate if your eyes are well-lubricated. My eye did it in one blink. The doc says that rules out contact lens wearing for me. He did give me a trial pack of the daily wear lenses to see if that would work. They lasted 5 hours.

So, now I'm wearing glasses and semi-seriously considering lasik.

What do you think of my new shades?

Can You Say Remodel?

2010-05-11T10:06:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, we were sitting around looking at our house and thinking, "You know, we really ought to fix this place up."

This is not a new thought. We bought this house 8 years ago as a "fixer-upper" and zealously set to work and we did really well for a couple of years, but then we ran out of money and we got tired. So we put our blinders on and just lived with it.

We were going to replace the floors in the kitchen and dining room, just something small to start with, but that spread to replacing the countertops and then floors in the family room and basement and the bathrooms...and well, now I'm sitting in the only room on the main floor that is not torn to pieces.

The workmen are tearing out the tile floor we installed 8 years ago (why you ask? David did not like it). We must have done a good job because I have heard the word "jack hammer" tossed around a couple of times and one of the guys said "this is why I should have stayed in school."

I knew we were asking for trouble when we started on the bathrooms - the guys up there are pulling out floorboard and shaking their heads and saying things like "gonna have to pull out the whole thing" and "floor is sloping."

I may be messing up the workmens' vibe because before they realized I was here, I heard some profanity, but it stopped pretty quick once I was introduced. I can't leave--I'm sick, so I hope they find their mojo.

One guy said, "Pretty crazy, huh? It has to get worse before it gets better."

We shall see...

Photographer

2010-05-03T13:48:00.001-07:00

I love pictures.

Taking pictures, editing pictures, scrapbooking pictures....pictures are just awesome.

So I was delighted when I learned that my husband was also into pictures. Well, into photography, and he was good at it.

Over the past 20 years, he has spent many, many hours and a lot of money developing his photography skills and in the process, I have benefited from his passion because I have fabulous pictures.

I was so proud when this book came out this week featuring over 20 pictures that my husband took when he went with the author hiking through Havasupai. There is even a picture of my husband taking a picture in the first chapter!

It is even more amazing because he had to backpack his camera equipment down into the canyon (60 lb. pack) and back up out.

Way to go, hon!

You can see more of David's work at his website www.legacyimagesinc.com

Run, Forrest, Run!

2010-04-30T20:46:00.001-07:00

Perhaps you remember this line from Forrest Gump: "Run, Forrest, Run!" And Forrest takes off down the road and finds out that he is a speed demon and he runs and runs and runs.

That scene was running through my mind this week when my kids and I all ran a 5K. Not that I discovered I was a speed demon, but I was thinking, "Run, Kris, Run!" when my body was saying, "Stop, Kris, Stop!"

I haven't run (or even exercised) since school started last August. To say that I have been too busy is an understatement. So when Katie decided she wanted to run the 5K and she needed someone to go with her, I offered to do so with some trepidation. But hey, I thought, I ran for a good part of last year, I can do this.

All I can say is that it's a good thing Katie and her friends wanted to walk as much of the race as they ran. I needed the breaks as much as they did.

But we all made it, and we discovered that Alissa is a long-distance runner. She ran the whole thing in 28 minutes! Josh cruised (basketball & soccer have kept him shape) at 21 minutes. Jenna said that she was just relaxing and came in at 33 minutes and Kellie, who came in at 38 minutes declares that she's really a sprinter. Katie came in at 45 minutes and me, well, I'll take my 47 minutes and blame it on the two third graders I was responsible for who refused to run any more the last half mile of the run.

They needed me to protect them, right?

Note on my photo: I have been watching a lot of triathlons on TV lately and lots of them raise their arms triumphantly when they cross the finish line...so I did.

*Thanks to my journalism student, Muzna, for taking these great pics.

Victoria and Sweet Potato French Fries

2010-04-25T15:32:00.000-07:00

I love how the Lord shows He's interested in all the little details of your life.

I had a student, a really fabulous student named Victoria who I just adore. She has had an amazing first year at BYU and is heading to London on study abroad next week.

For the last couple of weeks, I've wanted to see her, to say "hi" and give her a hug and tell her how proud I am of her. It's seriously been on my mind, so much so that I actually thought about asking her mom to bring her by the school so that I could see her.

But I didn't say anything. Because it seemed silly.

So instead, I went about my days and on the way to pick up Alissa from a friend's house, I had the thought, "You ought to stop by Guru's and get sweet potato french fries." No matter that I already had dinner waiting for me at home. No matter that sweet potato french fries are not on my current list of diet options.

But I listened, and got into the very long line at Guru's and lo and behold, who should walk by me but...Victoria.

I was so thrilled to see her and gave her that big hug and "hi" I'd been hoping to and well, it was just incredibly cool.

Afterwards, I was a little stunned, because you see, He cares about all the things in my life. The big ones and the scary ones and the overwhelming ones and the important ones and even the ones that aren't that big a deal at all.

And He throws in sweet potato french fries just to sweeten the experience.

Meet the Neighbors

2010-04-19T08:25:00.001-07:00

Funny things happen when you go door-to-door asking for sponsors. Here's a few stories from Katie and Alissa as they have been getting sponsors for a 5K run they are in this week:

Katie: "Hello - I am going to be running a 5K to raise money for my school."
Neighbor: "What school?"
Katie: "Meridian."
Neighbor: "What kind of a school is that-public, charter?"
Katie: "It's a private school."
Neighbor: (snotty tone) "I thought private schools were supposed to be rich."
Katie: "We're on a tight budget, sir."

Alissa: "Would you like to sponsor me in a run for my school?"
Neighbor: "What kind of a school is it?"
Alissa: "It's a private school."
Neighbor: "Well, seeing as how yesterday was tax day and I have to pay taxes to support the public schools, I don't have any money to pay to private schools."
[door closes in her face]

Alissa knocks on the door.
Door opens.
Person takes a look at envelope in her hands and says,"We don't want to buy anything." Door closes.
Alissa to closed door, "I'm not selling anything."

And finally, a good one:
Alissa: "I am running in a 5K to raise money for my school."
Nice Lady: "What kind of a school?"
Alissa: "It's a private school."
Nice Lady: "Oh, I went to a private school. It was wonderful! What grade are you in?"
Alissa: "5th grade."
Nice Lady: "Oh, I loved fifth grade! What things are you studying?"
[Conversation continues sharing what they're learning and experiences.]
Nice Lady: "Well, here's $20 for your school, and I'll bet you're thirsty. Would you like a drink?"
[Nice Lady gives Capri Sun to Alissa]
Alissa: "Thank you."
Nice Lady: "Good luck!"

Thank you, Nice Lady, for being so good to my daughter and to all my neighbors who generously and graciously treated my girls so kindly.

Mom and Dad

2010-04-14T07:15:00.000-07:00

It's really not fair to post this photo of my mom in her infamous blue robe, but I snagged this picture right before I left to come home from Arizona and it was early in the morning.

Mom and Dad....they have been the constants in my life. I cannot think of a single moment that they are not a part of, or at least the background to.

For them, family is everything, and I have a hard time explaining the strength that that gives me to go out into the world and try all kinds of things. I only know that I have tried to give that same feeling to my children hoping that they will feel the same empowerment.

When I worked in the hospital, one of the little old ladies I was caring for told me that her mother had recently passed away.

"I feel like an orphan," she said.

I must have given her a funny look (because she was 80+ and I was thinking she was too old to be an orphan) and she said, "No matter how old you are when you lose your parents, you feel like an orphan."

It's true. And I hope I won't know that feeling myself for a long time.

Love you, Mom and Dad.

Mystery and Eternity

2010-04-09T07:21:00.000-07:00

We paid a visit to the Mystery Castle.

I was a little nervous because I had read two opposing reviews of it online. The first said it was the most interesting and favorite part of their trip. The second said it was creepy and unnerving and they would never take small children.

Hmmm....well, my children aren't that small, and this place is an Arizona landmark, and I read about it in a book and I wanted to see it, so off we went.

My girls were positive I was lost. First I went down Baseline, but then I thought, "No, I should get on a freeway (there are so many here to choose from), but after traveling south for awhile when I should have been going west, I turned around and came back to where I started from. Then we went west, but when we got to a key turning point, the road wasn't there, so we went east, all the way back to where we started from, again.

Finally, I called my mom and she said, "Go west. Go way west." So we did, and we found it.

It was not creepy. It was interesting and thought-provoking and it stirred the imagination. I wondered what my girls were thinking because they were very quiet. Afterwards, they could tell me every word that the tour guides said, so they were definitely paying attention. You can read about the castle here.

I bought everyone a soda to reward them for being patient with me while I drove back and forth along Baseline and then I said, "Let's go walk around the temple grounds."

I love the Arizona temple. It brings so many good memories to mind. Plus, it is gorgeous there right now and we got to see a bride and it smelled like orange blossoms.

We listened to the presentation on Jesus and sat and watched the water in the fountain and I asked Jenna why she was being a shlumpy teenager.

She said she wasn't and that shlumpy wasn't even a real word.

I said it was because I was using it and she knew exactly what I meant when I said it.

She rolled her eyes at me.

I chuckled and thought, "I'm so glad she's mine forever."

What an adventure!

2010-04-07T16:19:00.001-07:00

We wanted to hike and we wanted to see cliff dwellings, so our plan for today was to go to Tonto National Monument.

I got the directions off their website, but was open to suggestions, so when my dad showed me his atlas and said, "Hey, this road is a shortcut," I responded, "Let's do it."

And thus began our adventure.

We were traveling on the Apache Trail going east from Mesa past three lakes: Canyon, Apache, and Roosevelt. As we drove along the very windy road, my parents kept saying things like, "I remember going on this road with my parents. It scared me to death." Why, you ask? Well, because for over 22 miles it is an almost one-lane dirt road through mountainous switchbacks. Not for the faint of heart (SEE 1st PICTURE).

My sister-in-law, Marne, who was following us in her minivan was scared out of her wits. We were up high on the rocks with sheer drops and blind turns. Apparently, she kept saying, "We're going to die!" Alissa, bless her faithful heart, answered repeatedly, "No, we're not." You always need someone to believe in you.

At one point, I thanked my dad for the great adventure. I told him I had looked online for a Jeep tour that would take us into the back country, but it was expensive ($45/person), so I'd ruled it out. Imagine my delight when we actually passed one of the Jeeps from the tour company parked at a scenic view area along the route. My dad saved me $225!

We went through washes and bumped along the road and saw beautiful scenery and finally made it to the Roosevelt Dam which is a piece of nostalgia for me (SEE 2nd PICTURE). My dad drove along the dam for many years as part of his mail route and my brothers and I would frequently accompany him. I'm telling you, that road to the dam and over it is downright scary and I have had many childhood nightmares about the dam breaking. The old dam is actually under water now because they built a new, higher one near it and let the water build up and cover the old one, but we could still see part of the road he used to drive on (SEE 3rd PICTURE).

Finally, we got to Tonto National Monument (an hour later than it took us to return home along the route I'd originally chosen) and after soothing our nerves with much repeated berating of Dad and laughter at our fear, we enjoyed the hike up to the cliff dwellings and the food we'd packed (especially the graham crackers covered in frosting). A great day!

Sun and the Scent of Orange Blossoms

2010-04-05T18:38:00.000-07:00

Today I wore shorts for the first time in almost 6 months. I also wore flip-flops. And short sleeves. With no jacket. It was glorious.

Arizona springs are a balm to the soul. When we arrived last night and got out of the car, the light breeze sent the smell of orange blossoms flooding over us. I inhaled deeply and thought, "ahhhh."

I have lived in Utah for 22 years, and while I love the beauty of the mountains and the beautiful trees, there is nothing like the green of an Arizona desert in spring and that orange blossom scent.

The girls and I visited the Casa Grande Ruins; we were hoping for a hike so we could be outdoors for awhile. We didn't get to hike, but we did get to wander around an ancient dwelling and hypothesize about its purpose (our best guess came from Jenna: a temple or religious building of some sort). We also saw a snake (a real one - it brought excitement from all the folks in the area) and Alissa's wish came true. She said all she wanted to see was a cactus with flowers on it. We found one at the end of our visit. Then we went to Jack-In-The-Box and ordered 15 tacos and made Katie's dreams come true by going to Bahama Buck's for shaved ice.

Bless you, Arizona, for a beautiful day, and for smelling like orange blossoms again tonight.

Waiting

2010-04-01T10:30:00.000-07:00

When I woke up to snow this morning, my first thought was, "I'm still waiting for spring."

I refused to wear a coat even though it was 32 degrees and I could see my breath. "I'm waiting for spring," I said and so I only wore a sweater. Fortunately, I also have a space heater by my desk which has been spouting lovely, warm, spring-type air all day. The space heater helps me to cheerfully (well, almost cheerfully) endure the wait.

Waiting seems to be a significant part of life, much more so than I realized.

So it seems important to figure out the things that help make the waiting bearable, maybe even character-building. Like Disneyland: they are pros at managing the "wait" - have you ever seen happier masses of people standing in long lines for hours at a time to go on a 2-minute ride?

This month I have been waiting to see if the school I love will raise the funds it needs to survive. It has been painful, like being slowly stretched on a medieval torture rack. Things that have helped me endure the wait: prayer, fasting, prayer, positive thoughts, prayer, Cadbury chocolate eggs, prayer, work, and did I mention prayer?

I can honestly say that my character and my faith have grown immensely, along with my gratitude for all the good in my life. I've especially learned to appreciate each moment, but I have to admit, I'm feeling a little haggard.

Gratefully, this wait will be over tomorrow - sometimes just knowing, whether it's good or bad, is easier than waiting.

And the sun just peeped out of the clouds, so maybe the wait for spring will be over soon, too.

Drama Queen

2010-03-30T11:05:00.000-07:00

Today was the foreign language skits at school. The kids in French, German, and this year, Chinese, act out skits completely in the language they're learning. No English allowed.

They are hilarious.

In the past, my kids have been Snow White, Pain from Hercules, Monkey from Kung Fu Panda, the Little Red Hen....and the kids get so into it. Costumes, props, music, dancing. It is a real performance.

This year Jenna was Princess Leia (and Darth Mal - playing several roles is a must). She was so funny. My favorite part was when Padme stood in front with Leia and Luke hiding behind her and she said "Ahh, ahh, Leia...Luke..." and they popped out from behind her. Not a bad birthing scene. We got to see the entire Star Wars saga, all six movies, in 5 minutes...no kidding.

So funny. I love it.

A Quick Trip to the Store

2010-03-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

This morning I went to the grocery store in my pajamas, thick socks, flip flops, and yes, I'll admit it, no bra (but I had on a jacket so you couldn't tell). I didn't even brush my hair. Well, I finger-combed it, but it wasn't very effective. Stacey and Clinton from What Not To Wear would have been appalled. I can just hear them:

"I was only going to the grocery store," I exclaim.

"But we have to see you!" they protest.

It was 8:00 am on a Saturday so I figured I'd be safe. Only one employee looked at me kind of funny when I walked in, but I didn't know her so it didn't really bother me.

I grabbed the few things I needed and was headed to the check-out stand when I heard, "Well, hello Kris! How are the Crowther's?" Yes, it was someone I knew, who gave me a very funny look after appraising my entire outfit. I kept the conversation brief: "We're fine" and booked it out of there.

I've engaged in such risky behavior before, but I am much more cautious than I used to be after hearing this story.

My mom had to run kids to school, so she hopped in the car wearing just her robe and her underclothes. She dropped off the kids and was heading home when the car ran out of gas. There she was in bare feet, a robe, no purse, no cell phone (they weren't common then), and my little sister in tow (also in her pj's). My mom was forced to knock on the door of the nearest house to ask if she could use their phone to call my dad.

I have learned from this little incident: I always wear shoes, I always take my purse, and I always have a coat if it's winter....but I don't comb my hair or wear a bra.

I have learned, but you've got to take some risks.

Watergate Bowl

2010-03-25T08:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in my journalism class we played Watergate Bowl.

It is a game I made up to see how much my student's understand the Watergate Scandal (Nixon, break-in, cover-up, etc.)

I love game shows, so I tried to make it cool with a bowl with questions and theme music and exciting prizes (Peeps and gum). Some of the kids got into it and some of the kids, well....

There was one girl who sat there with her arms folded and this look on her face that said, "This is the dumbest thing ever." Even at 39, I admit to being intimidated and having those "high school moments" where I know that I'm just too nerdy to be talking to these kids. I showed that nervousness because I kept messing up and saying they answered the question wrong when they actually answered correctly. They really liked that - I have found kids love it when you show you're human. And I am very human.

But there are also neat things. Like the kids who are just racking their brains to get the right answer and then give a little "Yes!" when they get it. And the boy who tried to trick me by making up his own question instead of reading the one off the paper...and then he actually pulled the made up question on his next turn. We laughed and laughed, together.

I think some of them got a kick out of it. They all came to claim their prize afterwards (except the crossed-arm girl, she took off lickety split), so at least I can say the prizes were good.

And I think they'll all remember that Watergate was about Nixon, who was a Republican, and bugging an office and some tapes.

A Reader

2010-03-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

I am a reader.

I know this because when people ask me what my hobbies are, I say "Reading" without even thinking about it. It is my number one, most favorite thing to do.

When I was a girl, there was no library in my town. Instead, we had the Bookmobile. It was a library in a mobile home and once a week it parked right next to my house. From the moment it arrived until it was time to leave, I laid inside on the comfy floor and read. I used to fantasize about being so involved in my book that I didn't realize the engine had started and the Bookmobile drove off with me inside.

I read like a starving person: voraciously. I inhale books in a single gobble, reading as quickly as possible and for hours at a time. At least the first time. I will reread books I love over and over and over again. This weekend I read Hunger Games and Catching Fire in about 8 hours. I will definitely read both of them again when the third book comes out in August.

Jenna reads like me. I think she's read Harry Potter so many times she can quote it from memory. Kellie is a methodical reader. She reads because it must be done, but she has a thing for comic books. Alissa loves to read, but only once. Not a re-reader. Katie is still figuring it out, but fortunately she likes Junie B. Jones and Diary of a Wimpy Kid so we get to laugh a lot when we read together.

Josh is in an AP Literature class that is killing him. Much to my dismay, he is not a reader, and the books they are reading are not for the faint of heart. For his winter term final, he had to write a paper on the book Heart of Darkness. I helped him with the paper, but I hadn't read the book, so didn't find out until afterwards that he had misunderstood a major component of his thesis. His teacher offered to let him rewrite it, so I said, "Josh, you read the book and I'll read the book and I'll help you with the rewrite."

It was a hard book. And, I thought, a little boring.

In fact, if I hadn't been reading it to help Josh, I would have set it aside after the first chapter.

But I persevered and finished it and now Josh and I have something we're bonded in.

I wanted to bond some more, so I handed him Hunger Games and said, "Josh, this is a great book. It's almost R-rated because of all the violence. I think you'd like it. Give it a try."

He read the first chapter on Sunday and said, "Hmm....interesting."

Yesterday he read more and stayed up 'til 3 am to finish the book.

I have not give up hope that he may also be ....a reader.

Konichiwa Means "Hello"

2010-03-18T09:20:00.000-07:00

Our family has grown by two.

Two Japanese girls came to live with us for the next 10 days. They get to travel all over Utah and practice their English skills and we get to make some new friends.

I scared one half to death this morning. I gently shook her to wake her up and she leaped up and began yelling in Japanese (it was probably cursing, but who could blame her? I am pretty scary in my glasses). We had a good laugh about it on the way to school.

This is the third time we've had Japanese students stay with us. We've also had students from Germany, Korea, and France. It's become a "thing" with our family; we like international people and I'd like to think we're getting better at being a host family.

Our first student, Alice, came from France when Josh was only 12. Alice was 16. She came to live with us for 9 months - straight - poor girl. Like a first child, she had to break us in as parents of an international student and parents of a teenager. She was very patient with us, for which I am grateful. The more students we host, the more I realize what a gem Alice was. I remember her first couple of weeks with us. The language thing was hard! She was trying to make something in the kitchen and she needed a....a.....it took 10 minutes to figure out "frying pan."

Believe it or not, having strangers in my home is a stretch for me. My first inclination is to be shy and I have to force myself to reach out. My home is my haven where I feel safe and can relax, but having folks there requires me to keep up the outgoing-ness. Sometimes I feel like I have the energy to do that and sometimes I don't. This time, I was thinking "no," but then Jenna said, "Mom, aren't we going to have a Japanese student? I like it when they're here; it forces me to keep my room clean." Who can argue with that logic? I signed us up.

The best thing about hosting students is the impact on my kids. I was talking to my dad last year about our student and my dad said, "You know, Kris, one of the neat things about your kids is that they just love everyone. People of all different races and cultures come into your home and there is no prejudice there. Your kids like them and welcome them in."

It is a relief to know that the sacrifice of my home turf is resulting in kids for whom race, color, language, and religion are not a stumbling block.

For that, and clean bedrooms, I will continue to be a host parent.

Our Japanese student introducing herself at the school assembly.

Utah Mormons Part 1

2010-03-17T10:38:00.000-07:00

Note: if you're not Mormon, you're going to be a little lost with the terminology here. Sorry!

This weekend, my brother and sister-in-law from Wisconsin stayed with us. They've lived out of Utah most of their married lives and raised their family in the "mission field." They have good kids, great kids, really great Mormon kids.

While they were here, they visited their former bishop from Wisconsin who has moved to Alpine, UT. His kids have been having a hard time. "One of the girls in their ward came and told their daughter that she couldn't be her friend because her house wasn't big enough," she said. "The kids in the ward secretly have boyfriends and girlfriends, but so their parents don't find out, they ask each other's partners to the dances." The stories kept going and it was disappointing and frustrating and to me, as a mother and a Mormon, heartbreaking. But I wasn't quite sure how to respond to her summary statement, "We would never raise our kids in Utah."

I couldn't agree, because you see, I have raised all my kids in Utah, and I think my kids are good kids, great kids, really great Mormon kids.

But I could see her point.

I heard on the news yesterday that pharmacies in Utah are taking all the cough syrup off the shelves and putting it behind the counter because kids are stealing it to get high.
My daughters got a note reminding them to wear a white shirt for their Young Womens choir at stake conference. The note said the white shirt "should not be too tight."
A seminary principal in Utah County is currently on trial for sexual misconduct with one of his teen students.

Utah Mormons aren't looking too ....good.

So what's a Mormon mother raising Mormon kids in Utah to do?

I'm still working this out, so look for another post on this topic...I need to think about it.

My Utah Mormons

My Little Yogi

2010-03-14T19:16:00.000-07:00

My Katie is a yogi - not the bear - a person who practices yoga.

She has been doing yoga at school on at least a weekly basis since she was three years old thanks to the talents of a great friend of mine named Kim Lynn. Kim is the most amazing yoga instructor ever. For about 6 months, I traveled up to her studio in Salt Lake to take her power yoga class. It completely killed me (I was not made to take my leg and wrap it three times around my waist) but was worth it for the glorious moments of shavasana and the head massage Kim gave me while I was lying in corpse pose (looking very corpse like).

Katie is a big fan of yoga...and she's very good at it. She can do all sorts of poses and can sing 3 of the sanskrit chants. She is also very good at the head massage thing. If I'm lying on the couch, she'll come and massage my head and sing me the chants and it is almost like Kim (even better because I don't have to get all sweaty and stand on my head before I've earned my massage).

The other day I asked Katie what specialists she'd gone to that day and she said yoga.

"How was it?"

"It was so good, Mom. I love yoga because when I get so furious, I can go to yoga and it relaxes me."

"What were you furious about?" I asked, wondering what could prompt an 8-year-old to need to use the word furious.

"Oh, I wasn't furious. I'm just saying that yoga helps me to be calm and happy."

Good, I thought. We can all use a little more "calm and happy."

And I'm glad my little yogi already has the tools she needs to achieve it.

Words

2010-03-11T11:24:00.000-08:00

My favorite word is plethora.

It means "a superabundance; an excess" or in my own words "a whole lot."

I try to work this word into my normal conversation and get a secret little thrill of delight when I manage it. It's like I've taken myself to a higher level of functioning because I can say, "Oh - I see we have a plethora of ideas today" rather than "bunches" of ideas.

Well, I told my dad about my secret love of "plethora" and he told me that he does the same thing! Only his word is "ubiquitous" which means "being present everywhere at once." I think that is a harder word and much more difficult to work into normal conversation, plus it doesn't quite roll off the tongue like plethora, but he likes it.

Lately, we've been having a little competition of sorts to work these "super words" into our conversations with each other, and I have to admit, my dad is winning. 'Where does he come up with these words?' I ask myself when they're spilling out one after another. I have my suspicions that he has a little cheat sheet he pulls out right before he calls me so that he can keep me constantly amazed at his dexterous vocabulary.

My husband tried to help me by emailing me unusual words, but it didn't really work. I said, "The word just has to lend itself naturally to the conversation; it can't be forced or it's not as fun."

I think this fascination with words comes from my love of reading, a trait which I also share with my dad. I think the way people talk in books is so wonderful and rich, so much more powerful and expressive than the words most of choose to actually say. There is a bit from the movie National Treasure that I really relate to. Ben is talking to Abigail about their search for the next clue and he's using some really beautiful words and she says, "You know, no one really talks that way anymore." And Ben says, "No, but they think that way." It's true!

So, here's to talking a little more like we think. Less "cool" and more "exhilarating."

I'm sure there's a plethora of words just waiting to be used.

The Prayers of a Friend

2010-03-10T07:26:00.000-08:00

A friend sent me an email yesterday telling about an adviser to Winston Churchill during World War II who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing every day at a prescribed hour for one minute to collectively pray for the safety of England, its people and peace.

I've been thinking a lot about prayer lately, particularly as I find myself wanting to DO something about the people and situations in my life.

There are so many things beyond my control: my mom's and grandpa's and sister-in-law's cancer, the struggles at my kids' school, a student who's traveling down the wrong path, my kids' taking finals.....I am a "do"er, but there isn't a whole lot I can do to "fix" any of these things.

Consequently, I find myself in a constant state of prayer. One of these people or situations will come to my mind and I'll pray: for peace, for guidance, for healing, for hope, for faith, for patience. It brings me comfort to know that I am doing something, really all I can for them...turning it over to God, who I believe has His hand over all things. And I believe that God hears and responds.

The power of prayer. It is a mighty thing, I think, and a powerful tool to use in behalf of another.

I find myself increasingly touched by people who tell me "I'm praying for you." It seems to me a precious thing that a person would exercise their faith in my behalf.

Orrin Hatch wrote a song called "I'll Pray For You" that I think of often these days. The chorus goes:
So I'll pray for you
and you pray for me.
Together we'll both see us through
We'll not suppose
Only God truly knows
What the prayers of a friend can do.

Foxy Lady

2010-03-08T15:28:00.000-08:00

I returned home from a late night basketball game to find my daughter's church teacher in the driveway wearing her pajamas.

"Can you give this money to Kellie?" she asked.

"What for?" I said in bewilderment, wondering why she was giving money to my daughter at 9:45 at night.

"Kellie called me and asked me if I would come see the play she's in. When I asked her if I could bring the money tomorrow or if she needed it right now, she said, 'Now would be best.'"

I shook my head and apologized. Kellie was in a play at school (Fabulous Mr. Fox) where she was required to sell a certain number of tickets. The play was the next day, and she'd obviously left it to the last minute...or so I thought.

I took the money to Kellie and scolded her a bit for calling people so late, then was out to get the mail when another neighbor showed up. Also in her pajamas. Also carrying money for Kellie.

By now it was 10:10 and I'm thinking, "I'm really going to have to talk to Kellie about the proper behavior for this type of thing." I started to apologize when the neighbor interrupted me and said, "Don't apologize. Your daughter was inspired to call me. I have had the worst day ever. My husband is out-of-town and I was sitting at home wondering if anyone cared about me at all when your sweet daughter called. I'm here to buy a ticket and I don't even know if I'll use it, but I'm going to tape it to my computer to remind myself that someone out there was thinking about me."

I went in to talk to Kellie and asked her how many tickets she'd sold.

"Well, Mom. I'd already sold all that I had to earlier this week, but one of the other girls was having a really hard time selling hers, so I decided to sell some for her."

I didn't know what to say. I was simply overwhelmed by the sheer goodness of this child of mine.

Comedian Bill Engvall says that the definition of awesome is "something that fills you with awe and wonder."

My Kellie is awesome.

It's in the DNA

2010-03-07T09:02:00.000-08:00

I had to take my license out of its protective covering the other day and I was reminded of this little piece of paper.

It is my DNA sequencing. My brother Steve gave it to me. Steve is a DNA analyst. He takes little people parts and identifies folks by them, like on CSI. It is pretty cool. He has had to testify in court and everything.

Many years ago, Steve was showing this paper to me and explaining that he had to have his own sequencing identified just in case any of his little parts got mixed in with the little parts he was testing. Turns out, this DNA thing is handed down through the mother so me and all my siblings will be the same (do not ask me the details on this, I do not know how it works).

"Here," Steve said, handing the little paper to me. "Keep this on you in case you need to be...well, identified."

I was touched. Really. My little brother wanted more for me than an unmarked grave. This is especially wonderful to me because Steve and I spent most of our growing up years fighting with each other about everything. And poor Steve spent even more time striving with all his might to NOT be like me. (It's a real bummer having everyone say to you, "Well, Kris did it this way" and "You should do it like Kris." He just wanted to be Steve.)

The thing I love most about Steve is that he is the best storyteller on the planet. When he is around, I like to get him talking because it is so interesting and I laugh and laugh. I remember one time when we were at Lake Powell, he was giving us the rundown of the book "The Green Mile" by Stephen King. Steve is a big King fan; I am not. I do not like to be scared. I remember when my kids used to watch Barney and there was the song about liking ghost stories because you "get that tingly feeling." I do not like the tingly feeling.

But Steve told that story so well that I was simply entranced. And then, he didn't finish because he hadn't read the whole book yet...a cliffhanger! I actually went home and checked out and read the book because I had to know how it ended. And because Steve positively reassured me that it was not too scary and that I could handle it. He was right.

So that little slip of paper is important to me.

Important enough that I have carried it in my wallet for the last 6 years.

Because it shows that my brother cares about me.

Cares enough to give me my DNA sequence and tell me to keep it on me.

What more could I ask?

Steve and I age 4 and 18 mo.

Clean

2010-03-04T12:27:00.000-08:00

I am at home at 1:30 on a school day.

This is weird for me because for the last six years I have worked full-time at my kid's school. But Alissa was sick, and I had no meetings, and I said, "I'll stay home with you, Alissa." Then I did all the things that I have a hard time getting done since I started working full-time, like the laundry, and the dishes, and the vacuuming. I even cleaned up the mud room AND my husband's office. Surprise, surprise, there really are floors in those rooms.

It is so nice to sit in my clean house. I wonder if my kids miss the "stay-at-home" me? There have been so many perks to working at my kids school, but the downside is that my house, which I kept immaculately clean before I started working, most of the time looks like Dorothy's in Kansas after the tornado swept through.

So today, I will enjoy the clean...and go to work tomorrow.

Deep Throat and Donuts

2010-02-12T07:20:00.000-08:00

We had donuts for breakfast this morning.

This is a sure sign that my dad is visiting because my dad ALWAYS gets donuts his first morning in our house. It is tradition. I would say this is because he is an early riser, but he would say it is because he is a poor sleeper.

He tries to fool the kids by saying that he is going to get milk. This is a plausible excuse because I am frequently out of milk. We drink a lot of milk at our house, gallons and gallons a week. But my daughter, Kellie, was not fooled. "He's going to get milk and donuts....and lemon cake." (The lemon cake is a new addition - only in Utah from the Day's Market by our house). She was right.

My kids get up early when my dad is here. The same children who I have to drag from bed in the morning and who will readily sleep 'til 10 or later if allowed are up at 6:00am so they can laugh with my dad.

My dad has a deep, booming laugh. Deep like the depths of the ocean and booming like a fog horn. When he laughs, it penetrates you, vibrates your chest, and you just have to laugh with him. Today, he and Kellie and Jenna were vibrating the whole house. It was awesome.

So this morning, in the dim light, my kids gathered around my dad to eat donuts and laugh.

I'm glad.

He's Got Game

2010-02-11T09:24:00.000-08:00

I watched my son's basketball game last night.

This is a frequent activity for me in the winter and I must admit, I love it. I really get into the games, cheering on the boys and moaning about the refs. Plus, my son, Josh, is a good player. Awesome really. He can jump so high he looks like he's flying and his hands are quick so he's good for some steals every game. My husband and I are already mourning the day he puts on that uniform for the last time. Sometimes I watch Josh in awe and think, "How does he do that?"

Last night was an important game. We wanted a win. I was so nervous that my hands were cold and shaking, my pits were sweaty, and my stomach was churning....and I wasn't even playing. I found that sitting on my hands helped.

The first part of the game wasn't going well for us. The other team could shoot three's. I hate that. Josh is his team's leading scorer, but the other team had assigned him his own personal player to dog him up and down the court, so he wasn't scoring much. I hate that, too.

Halfway through the second quarter, Josh went up for a loose ball and dislocated the little finger on his right hand. I'm talking a 90 degree bend at the middle joint. Being the clever lad that he is, he popped it back into place, signaled the coach for a sub, and went into shock. His face was the color of a cloudy sky and he was about to pass out. He laid down on the bench and I thought, "He's out." But after a minute, he looked at the scoreboard, saw that the other team was working us over, and said, "Tape it up. I need to go back in."

I watched then as my son played the entire rest of the game with this injury, scoring 13 points, 2 steals, numerous rebounds, and a couple assists. His team needed him to lead, so he led. Once again, I watched him in awe and thought, "How does he do that?"

So, here's to my son, the young man who, when I mentioned that he probably wouldn't be going to practice today, asked sincerely, "Why not?"

"Well, your finger," I said. "It's got to be huge."

"Ahh, I'll just tape it up. It'll be fine."

Josh, you've got game.

The finger this morning

Cancer and roller coasters

2010-02-10T08:27:00.001-08:00

My mom has cancer.

This is not new information. It's been almost a year since she discovered that the coughing and fatigue and finally shortness of breath weren't a virus, but lung cancer. Advanced lung cancer. In my 58-year-old mother who has never smoked a day in her life (or even lived with a smoker).

The last year has been like, well, like riding a roller coaster, which has some good points, like when the coaster first takes off and you're climbing that big hill and the anticipation is building, but then you get motion sick on the way down, and when the coaster goes upside-down your head feels like it's going to explode.

In the last few months, I have come to think of my mom as "living with cancer," rather than "dying from cancer." According to the doctors, she cannot be cured (although I pray for healing every day), but she's not on her way out either.

She's in limbo. Being in limbo does have some perks. Like I can still call and talk to her on the phone about my kids' basketball games and she can go to Hawaii for her anniversary and if church is really boring, she can say she doesn't feel well and head home.

Being in limbo also stinks. Like when the pet scan shows--maybe--new growths in her neck and back and hip, but the dr.'s not sure so she has three MRI's, but no idea when results will come and you wonder, "Is this it?"

In limbo, you live in the moment. That is a good lesson, I think. Because life, like the roller coaster, lifts you up and down and sometimes makes you want to throw up, but it's worth it, for the moments when you feel like you're flying.

I am grateful for limbo...and roller coasters...and my mom, who is living with cancer.

An Elitist

2010-02-09T09:16:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, someone called me an elitist.

I sent an email inviting friends to an open house at the school my kids attend. I really love this school and I wanted folks to visit. I wasn't pushy - honest - I just said, "If you're curious about private schools, come check it out."

Someone emailed me back and said, "Sorry, I am not an elitist."

Inferring that I am. Me. An elitist. Because my kids go to private school.

"Private school" is a bad word(s) in Utah. I think we have the lowest percentage of students attending private schools of any state in the U.S. (3%). You'd think with so many folks here wanting to get into BYU (a private school) that people would be a little more open to the idea...nope.

I went to public school as a kid and didn't really think too much about other options (I'm not even sure there were any). And when I had my own kids, I sent them off to the local public school along with the rest of the neighborhood. But some things bugged me, and after spending a couple of years trying to fix them, I decided to explore my options.

I found Meridian School.

It is really a great school, and I'm always a little confused that others don't see it. But, to each his own, and I try to respect that we all have the right to spend our hard-earned dollars on the things that are most important to us, be it cars, homes, vacations, sports, dancing lessons, music, or education.

I just wish others would allow me the same right, and maybe even attempt to see that I'm not trying to better than you, I'm just trying to have my kids be the best they can be.

So I replied to my email antagonist (I admit in a not-so-friendly way) and got this back, "Oh, yes, YOUR children deserve more."

My response: "Yes, my children DO deserve more...and so do yours."

My kids on the first day of school.

Disneyland...we love it!

2009-04-26T17:27:00.000-07:00

Hmmm....I really let time pass before posting, don't I? I guess I don't feel like I have anything worthy of being posted in cyberspace. :)

At Christmas, we were in AZ with all my brothers and sisters and we planned a spring break trip to Disneyland. When the time finally came to "fish or cut bait" only three of the families ended up coming. Too bad cuz we had a MARVELOUS time! How could we not when we had the Disneyland guru (Tony) with us who used his fabulous powers to make sure we had enough Fast Passes to go on whatever ride we wanted as many times as we wanted? I went on California Screamin' until I felt sick and then the kids kept on going on it after that. Thanks, Tony!
We were always waiting at the gates when they opened and we had a group every night who stayed until it closed (I was not in this group; I created my own secret escape that involved taking the tired child back to the hotel with a stop at Cold Stone on the way in - I highly recommend "Berry Berry Berry").
Katie loved the tea cups...there was barely a line so she would get off the ride and immediately run around to get back on again. Her brother and sisters were not willing to go with her, so good ol' Dad did his duty (his stomach was a little woozy).
My kids love being with their little cousins...my girls are more than willing to carry a baby around. But Josh became really interested in Heather's little girl Taryn - he just loved her and decided to work on winning her favor (she's picky). He walked all around with her and held her every chance she got and he must have won her over because at one point when she was tired she just leaned in to him. He loved it! We got a picture of it which he now has as the screensaver on his computer.
My favorite ride was Tower of Terror. The last time we went to Disneyland was five years ago, just a few months before this ride opened, so I hadn't been on it before. I loved the feeling in my stomach when the ride would drop and unlike rides that go upside down, this one didn't give me a headache.
It was such a great week. So fun to be with my brother and sister and their families and to be in the "happiest place on earth."

Lifestyle Change

2009-02-27T10:38:00.000-08:00

So, I hit an all-time high for weight this last Christmas (other than being pregnant, of course).
I won't fill you in on the number, but let's just say I let out a huge gasp when I saw it.
I decided, "Okay, you've got to start exercising and eating right. No more putting it off." So, starting January 3rd, I headed back to the gym and cut my calories. The results?

I am almost halfway to my goal of losing 25 lbs. When I weighed in this week, it was the lowest weight I've been in almost two years! I'd lost 2 inches off my hips and and inch and a half off my shoulders. How is this possible? Good old-fashioned calorie counting and exercise. I eat between 1500 and 1800 calories a day of healthy stuff like fruits and veggies and low-fat meats, whole grain bread, etc. I have a trainer who works with me once a week at the gym and I go two other times and work out on my own.

Sometimes this whole thing is really hard. I have such a sweet tooth, and last night, that package of M&M's was calling to me. It was a mental challenge to set it aside and say, "Trust me. You'll regret it in the morning."

I'll post some pictures when I reach my goal, which will probably be the end of April!

Science Fair

2009-02-14T07:15:00.000-08:00

We did it - we survived another science fair! The science fair is a big deal at our school: grades 3-9 are required to participate which means we had a minimum of three projects to complete. But Katie didn't want to be left out, so we did a fourth one.
The results: Jenna was awarded Best Display in 7-9 division, Kellie took 1st place in the 4-6 division, Katie took 2nd place in the 1-3 division, and Alissa ...well, let's just say some tears were shed and we're looking for redemption next year.
I spent the day printing out participation and award certificates, making sure each project was judged three times, and setting up tables and chairs. Whew!

Someone hurt my feelings

2009-02-09T04:50:00.000-08:00

Isn't life confusing? I remember when I was a kid thinking how glad I would be when I was an adult and others word couldn't hurt me anymore. Turns out I was wrong. Here I am, 38 years old, and unkind words still wound deeper than anything. Darn my sensitive heart. Does it really matter what others think of me? My head says "no", but my heart says, "You bet it does!" I cursed some of my kids with this, too. I'm staying home from work today and pulling the covers over my head. Some days you just have to do that.

I've Been Thinking

2009-01-25T17:12:00.000-08:00

I've had lots of thoughts running through my head this week...thoughts about our new president and our country, about the economy and education, about same-sex marriage and human rights, about faith and religion, about right and wrong.

I was so excited to see the inauguration of President Obama. I think it's important that he is a black man, that as a country we've elected him as our president. But I worry about the actions he's taken this week.

It's a complex time. I was talking with some of the teachers at school about a recent news article that said that in spite of the economy, gun sales have been through the roof since Obama was elected. People are scared he'll take away their guns since he's for gun control. One of the teachers was strongly for gun control, the other against, and I could see the validity of both of their arguments.

I read that Tom Hanks said all Mormons are un-American because of their support of Proposition 8 in California. Me? Un-American?

Lots to think about...

Basketball, basketball and .... more basketball

2009-01-18T19:13:00.000-08:00

This is the time of year when basketball consumes our lives! This week, I watched 7 games, six of them in a 24-hour period. Our son, Josh, plays on his school team and we travel to every single game. Because we're a 1A team, that means a lot of distance driving. This week, we went to Ogden. The picture at left is David and I with the two other parents, Rick McCloskey and Fern Caka who also travel to every game. We're often the only fans at away games, but we cheer as loudly as possible!
Josh is a jumper, I secretly think of him as "Tigger". He gets tons of rebounds and usually gets the tip at the start of the game. He loves to steal and typically scores 10-12 points a game. David and I LOVE watching him play. Can you believe the kid who is deliberating fouling Josh in this photo threw a big fit when the foul was called on him? Kellie took this picture and said, "Mom, I have a picture of that foul." We offered to show it to the kid, but he didn't take us up on it. :)

Our girls all play on Jr. Jazz teams through the city, their games are all on Saturdays and I coach Alissa's team. This week, Jenna played a double-header, a game at 8am and the second at 9am. They won the first game by a miracle shot in literally the last second that tied the game and sent them into overtime. It was awesome! Jenna is a scrappy player who will go after every ball. She ends up on the floor a lot; the coach loves her aggressiveness.
On Saturday, Kellie scored 14 of the 24 points for her team - she's go the lay-up down which is more skills than most 6th graders her age have. She and her friends have been playing basketball together since third grade.

My little team that Alissa is on goes by the name "Viper Monkeys" ( I know - tough girls!) Half of them are in their first year and just learning to dribble, so we don't worry too much about the score, just about passing the ball around and guarding our man and trying to dribble without traveling. As one of my little girls said when I told her she couldn't dribble with two hands, just one, "But that's hard!" Alissa is one of the tallest girls in the league, so she enjoys rebounding and shooting over everyone's head. She has also mastered the lay-up and scores lots of baskets.

I have been coaching my girls in basketball since Jenna was in third grade. I can't play basketball myself, but when the city called me and said Jenna wouldn't be able to have a team since they couldn't find a coach, I volunteered. Being me, I headed to the public library and checked out videos and books on coaching basketball. After five years of coaching, I'm still not a great dribbler myself, but I know how it's supposed to be done and I can teach the kids to do it!

Gresko Family Reunion

2008-12-29T10:15:00.001-08:00

All my brothers and sister and their families were together in Arizona for a couple of days. We had this picture taken and were amazed at the size of our family. There's probably no more kids coming so our final number is 32 (20 grandkids, ten kids and spouses, my mom and dad).