Monday, June 14, 2010

Making Plans

I am a planner.

I find it essential to my well-being and productivity to think ahead and plan what I (and my family) will be doing. Consequently, I have a very well-used planner that I always have with me that has writing on every single page (I prefer the old pen-and-paper method; it's just more satisfying to me than the electronic gadgets).

Today, my mom and I made plans.

What do you want to do as you get sicker? Be home with hospice or in the hospital?
Answer: Home with hospice.

Do you want family around as you get sicker?
Answer: I want my family to come and be with me, but I don't want anyone to do anything that makes them uncomfortable or afraid.

What do you want for your funeral?
Answer: I just want a graveside service, but I don't want everyone to be out in the heat (in Arizona). Just keep it simple.

What do you want for a casket/burial?
Answer: Don't spend a lot of money on it. It's just going in the ground. I'm not real particular about what city I'm buried in, just so long as your dad and I can be buried together.

These were hard plans to make because making them meant facing painful realities. We cried a lot...and after a bit, decided to talk about something else.

I'm glad we made plans. I'm glad I know what she wants and that she had the chance to tell me. I'm glad that we could cry together and plan for a future that isn't what we would choose, but one that we can face because we thought about it and talked about it and planned for it.

I think planning will give me strength for what is ahead.

My mom and I in 1974.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Cancer and Faith


There was once a woman with cancer. The cancer grew undetected until it weakened the woman, but once discovered, it was fought with courage and knowledge and most of all, faith. The cancer flowed at times, and ebbed at others, but at last, it seeped into new spaces with a speed that overwhelmed and frightened and pained the woman and those who loved her.

So, together, they clasp hands and pray and hope and love and look to God who is "aware of your sufferings and enfolding you in His arms."